Thank You.

I have been struggling to find something to blog about all day. Nothing seemed important enough or relavent enough to talk about.

I haven't felt inspired today and I couldn't figure out what it was.

That was until I finally made my way to SGP. Rereading the posts and talking to people in the chat reminded me of something, it's all about heart.

The people who I have met through SGP have the biggest most open hearts of anyone I have met in a long time.

From SGP's team members to the "Street Team" in the chat we are our own little community. Almost like a little family.

This group has become a very big part of my life in a very short time and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you to everyone that I have met for helping keep me inspired and focused and allowing me into your world.

Why I follow Southern Gothic Productions.

For anyone here who doesn't know what Southern Gothic Productions is or hasn't picked up on it in my previous blogs it is a kick ass up and coming production company based out of Wilmington, NC. It has an awesome team behind it pushing it. The team has a deep connection to the Wilmington area and are trying to keep the arts alive in the area. 

It just so happens that this company's team includes Hilarie Burton. Now I have been a fan of OTH since the very beginning and had it not been for this I probably would have never heard about SGP but if it weren't for the heart and soul of everyone involved with this company and their upcoming project Pedestrian that keep me coming back from more. 

Hilarie, Kelly, Nick, Austin, Ali, Eddie, James, everyone who has taken the time to share a little of themselves and their passion for this company and allowed us to be a small part in this. 

There is no better example of this than of the video Hilarie posted today. It's one thing to let your fans know about not coming back to a TV show but it's another to film a video and show the emotion behind this decision.

Hilarie Burton is one of the most classy actresses I have seen in a long time. You can tell that she values her fans and the support that we give her. She didn't have to address the rumors, she didn't have to share her company with us but she has let us in and engrossed us in the project. 

I can truly say that I will continue to support OTH and watch season 7 because I have watched from episode 1 and I'm not about to leave it before it leaves me. 

I will also support Hilarie and the rest of the SGP team for as long as they are together. This is not because she played Peyton Swayer for 6 years but because she inspires me with everything they do. No actor can be tied down to a single role and Hilarie is going to move on to other things with SGP and beyond. 

SGP Voicemails

Don't forget to call and leave your voicemail for SGP.

Can this really be happening to me?

Once in a while the planets align and the gods smile down and everything at least for a little while seem to go right.

I am living in one of those times and I'm afraid that the bottom is going to fall out at any minute.

I'm following my dream, making it happen and so far everything for my first project is falling into place. The first draft of my screenplay is done. I have interest in it (mostly in me) already and it all seems to be going too well.

I'm just a girl from Arkansas. I'm nothing special. I have a hard time grasping that something like this can happen to me.

I can't help but wait for something bad to happen. It's not supposed to be this easy. I can't believe it is because I am this good at this. I'm new to this whole thing. I'm not supposed to be good at this.

Maybe I'm crazy and sometimes it does happen like this but the voice deep down inside me keeps saying this is too good to be true.

Big News!! Big Big News!!!

Well I might be jumping the gun just slightly but I couldn't hold in this news any longer. 

I have a couple of financial backers interested in my screenplay.

This is why I completed it when I did.

We are meeting later this week to talk over details and I'm SUPER excited.

It's very, VERY early into this but the fact that I have interest is amazing to me.

I'll keep you posted as I move forward.

Officially done with my first ever screenplay.

Good news! Good news!


120 pages of magic waiting to be filmed. 

Now of course there are revisions to be made and cuts that are bound to happen but it is DONE!!!

This is one of the best feelings in the world. Something that I started is complete and I have never been more happy. I even completed it within my self appointed goal. 

I have more good news to come all of it involving the screenplay that I should be holding a copy of in my hands by this time tomorrow.

It's all about heart.

Apparently today is my day to blog. Actually I have been doing a lot of thinking today and have come up with a thought I felt the need to share.

I have always been hard on actors and actresses who take roles for the money, who put a paycheck ahead of doing something they love, who don't do things for the craft and heart of it but for the celebrity of it. Well lately I have found myself selfishly wanting actors and actresses to put a paycheck before doing something they love and that undermines my whole value system that I want to have getting into this industry.

I will admit that I am a huge OTH fan just like I was a huge Friends fan as well as many other shows over the years. Now just like lots of OTH fans I have been dying for a 7th season. I wanted it to stay on the air so that I could watch the fake lives of the characters that I have come to love over the last 6 years. I, as many others, were ecstatic today when it was announced that OTH had been picked up for a 7th season. But then other rumors began to circulate and it got me to thinking. 

The rumors were that CMM and HB were not going to be returning for season 7. At first I was shocked, didn't want to believe them, down right sad if this was true. But the more I have thought about it the more I have decided that if this is what happens I envy these two brave people. They want to move on with their careers and make more projects that they have a passion for. 

I have been following HB's SGP blog since the very first post, in fact it is what inspired me to start blogging myself. I was attracted to the blog and the progress of Pedestrian, not because of HB and the character she plays on a TV show but because of the heart and soul behind the project and the willingness of all the people involved to share it with the world. They passionately want to see this movie made. They passionately want to share the project with their fans. They have a passion for this project and the genre of Southern Gothic literature that radiates to everyone who browses their page. I commend them for letting the world in and allowing us to be a small part in something that is big to them.

The fact that they are making it happen makes me believe that I can make it happen. As I watch the project move through these rough times and get closer and closer to being reality I see that with hard work I too can make mine happen. All of the good things that have happened with my project has been inspired by them. They have motivated me and I hope that the support that I show in return can begin to repay them for what they have done for me without even trying to. I have followed my heart to get to where I am right now and so have they. 

So how can I selfishly wish that the rumors about HB and CMM are not true. If they want to follow their hearts on to new projects then I will support them in whatever they might be. Pedestrian is going to rock, CMM will make movies, HB will act again if she wants to. The fact that Peyton and Lucas might not be on TV isn't the end of the world, nor is it the end of OTH.

Life isn't about how much money you can make, what kind of car you drive, or having the nicest things. It's about doing something you love and having a passion for it. You have to follow your heart and your dreams. Anything else is just lying to yourself.

OTH Season 7!

It's official One Tree Hill will be back for Season 7! Several sources confirming this are listed below.

As I am writing this a new promo for episode 617 has been posted on and it concerns me a little. Check it out. Problems for Leytons (dang I hate combined names) Lucas and Peytons baby dream won't be easy. 

Dang OTH for not being on again until March 16th. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Congratulations to the OTH cast and crew for the pick up and the opportunity to keep doing what they love. In today's economy having a secure job is a blessing. I am very glad they are coming back for a 7th season and truly believe that the story lines will only continue to grow and get better.

This is also good news for fans of SGP because (even tho I never thought it was an option not to) Hilarie Burton will be remaining in Wilmington for at least another year. Pedestrian is going to be a wonderful movie when it is complete and this project already has so much fan support from around the world that I know it will be big for her and SGP.

Again I am overjoyed with this news. Now all we have to do is wait and see which characters will and will not return and if we will experience another time jump (Please, Please No more time jumping).

2 Quick Things

I'm sitting here browsing the internet, putting off my homework & revising my screenplay and I have stumbled upon 2 things I wanted to share.

1) They are making a Spider-Man musical for broadway. WTF!!!! The music and lyrics are being done by U2 too. I don't know how to feel about this but normally don't broadway musicals get made into movies not the other way around. (Exception: Spamalot which is hilarious) 

2) I looked on the Watch W/Kristen page on and stumbled upon some interesting news in the newest Spoiler Chat. I won't share it in case you don't want to know any spoilers but I would check it out if you do.

Just Wanna Be With You

As sad as it might be I just finished watching High School Musical 3. Now I have always been a sucker for musicals. Even at a really young age. When I went to work for Disney in January of 2006 High School Musical was released. Being in Disney World we were ini-dated with advertisements, music, promotions, even merchandise. I didn't watch the movie until much later when it came out on DVD but when I finally did see it I loved it. When the second movie came out in 2008 I was kind of excited about it. I was one of those losers who went opening day to see the 3rd one in theaters. If this makes me pathetic then so what. I love it. Music, romance, basketball. It has everything that I love and it might be sappy and childish but I love it.

I'm about to go get a work out in seeing that I don't have to work tonight. Been a week since I hit the gym and I know my shot is going to be horrible because of this. I'll have to put in extra time today.

Sad that the SGP blog chat is gone from the page. I really enjoyed talking to everyone. Hopefully they will bring it back. Still check the page often just to see what they have posted and what others have commented on. 

Big things are coming for me and I can't wait to see where they go. 

My bestest best friend is coming to visit me in 2 days I am stoked. I haven't seen her since October and it's been way to long. 

Overall I think this is going to be a good week.

Possible Good News for Future...

I got some possible good news today concerning my future and a project that I am working on. I can't go into details yet because not everything is worked out yet but I'm super excited. If everything works out this could be big for me.

I'll post more when I can.

good day gets better

Came to work just to find out that we do not have an achor in studio today. That means that I have nothing to do until sports at 6 o'clock. Everything is coming from Fort Smith so there are no cameras to run. My already good day just got even better.


It's a good day.

New SGP posts, New OTH Promo (thanks to Denise for that), Last Day of work until Thursday, Halfway through my first Southern Gothic book and LOVING it. 

SGP has two new blogs today. Nick Jams vs. Hil Tunes. I love that they are helping expand my music. I'm always looking for new music. Got to say (sorry Hil) I do prefer Nick's list as of right now because I have heard more of them and he put Fancy on it but I'm sure I will like the music on Hil's after I hear them.

I LOVE the new OTH promo for episode 617 which airs March 16th. All I have to say about it is OMG!!!! Actually let's make that OMFG!!!! I am said it's 3 weeks from tonight but I will so be late to work that day watching it.

"The Ballad of the Sad Cafe" is amazing. I am a new fan of the Southern Gothic writing. Got to love Southern Gothic Productions for expanding my horizons.

Good Help is Hard to Find.

My crack writing team hard at work.

I might hate the Oscars now.

Went to work tonight knowing that the Oscars would be airing on the station that I work for. I know the Oscars being someone who has watched them every year as far back as I can remember that the Oscars always run long. This year the Oscars running long meant that I had to work and hour later and spend 30 minutes in the studio waiting for the dang speeches to be over.

That being said I am very glad that Heath Ledger, Sean Penn and Kate Winslet all won. 

Picked up some books recommended by Southern Gothic Productions and have to say what little I got to read today is amazing. I started with "The Ballad of the Sad Cafe" by Carson McCullers. I'm only a couple pages into it because of working but I am digging it. I also picked up "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers and "Wise Blood" by Flannery O'Conner.

Tomorrow I'll be curled up with my book, a cup of tea and SoGoChat open on my computer. 

So close to a finish on my script. Just a couple more elements and I'm done. Should be ready for viewing tomorrow if I get as much done tonight as I would like. Lining up editors to help me out. I'm kind of nervous about the feedback but I guess I have to be ready to hear negative and positive things if I'm going to send it out for production.

Can't say it enough, go check out Southern Gothic Productions blog. It is the most amazing place on the web. 


So I have officially been visited by people in 20 different countries. There was a spike after the reveling of my writing partner so I'm trying not to take it personally that people might like him better than me. 

Thanks to everyone who has visited. - GO THERE!!!

It's nice to have help with my writing.

My writing partner decided to stop by while I tweeked my screenplay tonight.

He's more of a uncredited, ghost writer but he's help is sometimes useful.

Here are a couple of pics of him.

Sleep is Overrated

Typical day of my life:

8-9 Breakfast/Serf the Internet
9-10 Homework online
10-11:30 Work Out
12-1 Lunch
1-3 Internet browsing (SGP Blog/Twitter)/Errands/Homework
3-7 Work
7-9 "Lunch" Break
9-11 Work
11-1 Homework/Internet browsing
1-4 Work on Screenplay
4-5 Internet browsing
5-8 Lay in bed/Sleep

Sleep is for when I'm dead.

Update Time

I just wanted to through out a quick update script has undergone a major rewrite but It's almost done.

Met all kinds of new cool people ok SoGpPro's blog. Check it out sometime.

Getting to do all kinds of awesome things tonight.

Jackson Waters final show.
Catch up with not 1 but 2 old friends.
Purchase a couple of the books recommened to me by SGP.
Come home and write some more.

I'll let you know how everything goes later.

Southern Gothic Vlog Part 2

Part 2 of the latest SoGoPro vlog is up. Check it out.

Random acts of inspiration.

I have probably said it before and I will probably say it again over and over but you never know where inspiration will come from.

While browsing the latest post on the best blog on the internet ( I decided to stop in and talk on the live chat.

After meeting some really cool people we started talking about our own interest and I brought up my script and I feel like I have made some connections to make it happen on my own if I wanted to.

I'm going to work hard and get these final revisions done so that I can start with the re-writing and tweeking phase and see where I can take it from there.

The encouragement that I received from people who just meet me and thought that I could get the project done along with the encouragement I have received from my friends and family is what is going to push this little pet project of mine forward.

While on the chat tonight I meet Denise or Podcaster Denise as she is now referred to and she set up a voicemail for people to leave their encouragement for SGP. This is probably one of the best ideas I have heard of because the words of others have the power to help you through times where you might be doubting yourself or feel like the hill is a lot higher than you thought it might be. 

I am definitely going to leave my words of encouragement and return the favor that they have done for me because their blog has inspired me in ways that they will never understand.

Spent the night on the Southern Gothic live chat and meet some awesome new people. 

Elizabeth Fish linked her site and it is awesome. She takes amazing pictures.

Got some really cool words of encouragement from everyone.

Meet Eddie the VP of sales and marketing for SGP. Awesome to get to talk to him about the vlog. 

Shout out to Raquel, Liz, Jaclyne, Becca and Pfiffer who were awesome to talk to.

Can't say it enough go check out Pedestrian is going to be crazy good.

New SoGoPro Vlog

GO THERE!!! Check out the new vlog and the online chat.

Name Change

After thinking about it for a couple of days I've decided that I need to change the name of my blog.

LA is no longer the end point that I am looking for. 

I am willing to go anywhere to make this dream come true.

I need your help. Give me some suggestions on possible new names. 

For some reason I keep coming up blank.

Felling Inspired and Determined.

There are times in life when the writing is on the wall and you can choice to ignore it or follow what it says.

This week has been one of those times.

I have always felt that there was a plan for my life and that all the crap and drama that I have gone through was supposed to happen to get me to where I'm supposed to go.

This week has showed me that what I have always thought was true is.

My place in this world is behind a camera, typing keys on a keyboard, and making something to entertain others.

I know now that the path I am on right now is the path I was always supposed to be on. I just had to go through the other crap to get here.

If I had started this 3 or 4 years ago I wouldn't have made it.

I was not as strong as I am now. I was not as determined as I am now.

Life is funny sometimes. It tosses and turns and does some crazy things. But in the end, what life throws at you can either break you or make you stronger and I am happy to say that it has made me stronger.

I can face the rejection that is bound to come, the doors that will slam in my face. I am a strong, determined woman ready to face this big scary world.

Bring it on! 

First script is almost done. Couple of final revisions and I will need a couple of people to read over it for me and I will be ready to look at getting it produced. I'm so excited. It's a very personal story with a lot of basis on my life which makes it all the more special. Even if I produce it myself with my handheld camera I want to see this story played out by someone else. I want to see the characters that have been running around my head for the last 3 years come to life in a way that I can only imagine. 

For all my critics.

Some people would say that I'm obsessive.

Some people would say that I need a life.

Some people would say that I need to get out of the house.

I say to all of these people that I have a passion for something that most people don't understand.

I like what I like and I do what I do. 

I watch what I watch and I listen to what I listen to.

This is me. Take it of leave it.

So I watch the same TV show over and over.

So I watch the same movie 5 times in a row.

So I go to the same play as many times as possible.

So I play the same song/album/playlist over and over.

I have a passion for the arts, for entertainment.

I always have and always will.

I love to be entertained.

I love to entertain people.

This is who I am. 

I will never apologize for it.

I will never change it.

If you can't accept it then it's your loss.

But if you keep me around my passion might just rub off on you.

Or you might discover something you never knew before.

I am me and that is all I can be. 

Random Post at 3:45 in the morning.

I can't sleep so I'm laying here re-watching random old episodes of One Tree Hill and I decided to watch an episode that I have struggled to watch since it first aired. Season 3 Episode 16 "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept." Most people would refer to this episode as the one where Keith died, or the school shooting episode. 

I would like to say thank you several years later to Mark Schwahn for writing this episode. Not many TV shows would be brave enough to tackle a subject like that. 

I struggle to watch it and cried pretty much through the whole thing but I think the message behind the episode is so important. It will always be one of those episodes that is relevant.

All of the actors in the episode deserve acclaim but I especially want to say excellent job to Colin Fickes who played Jimmy Edwards. The scene at the end when he is talking to Keith might be one of the best acting jobs I have ever seen. The raw emotion and power he delivered was amazing. 

Randomness of this post aside I just had to share my feelings. 

The More You Ruv Someone

Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez are my heros.

For those of you who don't know who Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez are, they are the mnn who came up with the original concept for Avenue Q. 

For those of you who don't know what Avenue Q is, it is by far the funniest play involving puppets that I have ever seen.

This past summer while we were in NYC my best friend Lindsay, my sister Melissa, and I had a free night and wanted to see a broadway show. Wicked was my choice but tickets were impossible to come by. My sister had heard about Avenue Q and suggested it. Man am I glad she did.

The first thing that should have tipped us off to the side-splitting humor that would ensue was the warning of full puppet nudity as we bought the tickets as well as when we entered the theater. 

I don't think I have ever been more shocked and laughed so hard as I did during the show. We immediately purchased the soundtrack and it was on my iPod in a matter of hours. 

When the Walton Arts Center released it's 08-09 Broadway Season I was stoked to see that Avenue Q was on the schedule. Ever since then me and my sister have planned on going to see it again.

That is what we did tonight and let me tell you it is just as funny as it was the first time around. It might have actually been better. The group of actors on the stage were amazing. You could tell that they were enjoying what they were doing and they made the audience enjoy it that much more. It was the little things that made the difference. 

After reading the post on SoGoPro and seeing the show tonight my love of the theater and plays has been fully renewed. I can't wait until Fiddler on the Roof comes in May and Legally Blonde the Musical in July.

It's turning out to be a pretty good week. Avenue Q tonight, drinks with an old friend on Saturday along with Jackson Waters. 

I'm kind of having a good day.

Besides all of the random happenings today has been overall a very good day. Got some work done for my dad which will help pay my rent this month. I ate at Red Lobster and it was delicious. We went bowling and after losing to my sister the first game came back and beat her in the second game and overall. Not to mention I finally had a homework assignment that I knew what I was doing. It might actually be really good.

1 of the 2 classes I'm taking this month is Intro to Media Arts and it's kind of an overview of every thing in the entertainment industry, how it started and what it does today. It also introduces us to some of the programs that are included in the Mac. This weeks assignment was a movie that we had to edit down to a trailer and add music and sound effects. 

The previous 2 projects we had have not been as easy for me. The first was a website and I think it took me a good 12 hours of work to complete. The next was a music editing assignment which took a good 2 hours. 

I have made mini movies with software similar to this before so this was right down my alley. I think it took me all of 45 minutes to get this done and a majority of the time I was just goofing around with transitions and seeing what different music did with the images.

Little things like these help me feel like I made the right choice in going to Full Sail. Now I'm going to be brave and attach the video here and see what you guys think. If it sucks let me know. If it's good let me know. Any feedback on it would be amazing because I have until Sunday to submit it and I can improve upon it until then.

A Day of Randomness

If you are not familar to Northwest Arkansas let me explain something before I tell my random story for the day. There is a small town on the west side of the area near Siloam Springs and the Oklahoma boarder named Gentry. This is the place where my dad works at the AEP power plant. It is also home to a wilderness drive through park. Now I have been to the park but it has been years. 

On my over to help my dad at work this afternoon I saw the most random thing in the side yard of one of the house near the plant. 4 zebras. Like actual zebras. This is not something you see every day driving around. Of course curiosity struck me so I tried to turn around and take a picture of them but I think they might be camera shy because every time I pulled up on the street to snap the picture they had moved further away and behind trees. 

This all comes after playing chicken with a skunk on my way home from work last night. I am very sad to say that the skunk won and I was the one who moved out of the way. I don't like killing innocent creatures even if they kind of creep me out.

On my way home from Gentry I came up behind a seemingly normal truck but as we were slowing down to stop at a red light something caught my eye. There where the hitch sticks out is what looks like a fish with red eyes wiggling back and forth every time this guy presses the break. I have never seen that before. It was a little weird and a lot funny. My first thought was only in Arkansas would you see something like that.

The day isn't over yet and yet so much randomness has occured. I can't wait to see what will happen tonight.

You never know where inspiration will come from...

I woke up this morning thinking the same thing I have thought for the last 3 mondays, "Damn it I have a ton of homework I need to start on." So like every other Monday since I've started school I pulled the covers over my head and tried to go back to sleep. After a little while I decided to finally get up and at least start on my reading. Now if you know me I have a routine that I follow every time I get on my computer. I check my e-mail, check my Facebook, check my Myspace and then I pull up my blog to see what others have wrote. Today however I got sidetracked by a post.

I want to give props to Hilarie Burton and her post on SGP (Southern Gothic Productions) blog this morning. Her words struck a cord in me that I had forgotten about lately. I am and always have been a theater kid. I will never be an actor, I have way to much stage freight, but I have always loved going to plays, musicals, etc. This love comes from my mother, I know it. We have always been a family that goes to plays. Local production, traveling broadway production, a production on broadway, it didn't matter. It's not about how much money the actors are getting paid, if they even are, it's about their passion to perform. I may not have been able to see all of the plays and I do tend to gravitate more towards the non-Shakeperian plays but I love sitting in the theater and being transported to a whole other world. 

This post reminded me that there is more to entertaining people than making a huge blockbuster movie, or a long running TV show. You can make something that only a handful of people will see but you still have the chance to inspire the few that you can see. This is what I'm after. If I never make a million dollars I will still be happy if I can make something that means something to someone else. It's not about the money, the celebrity, or the acclaim for me. It's about finding that one person who needs to hear the words I wrote to get through something in their life they might now think they could face other wise. Or putting a smile on someone's face even if it's just for a split second. Because I know what those felting moments of inspiration can mean to someone's life because, like the blog post this morning, they are what have gotten me to where I am right now.

Too much to focus on...

I have recently been told by a very close friend that I may be undiagnosed ADD. I would definitely have to agree with this to a point. I think my problem is I have so many thoughts, ideas, and things to do to focus on only one task at a time. This creates a problem when I am going to school, working, writing and documenting all at the same time.

Considering my lack of focus on school the last couple of days I have spent the morning re-focusing and completing those projects before they are due tonight. I'm down to 1 quiz and 1 paper. Not bad considering I had a mini-movie, a remixing and a quiz on top of that this morning. With work tonight I'm not going to have my usual last minute time to finish everything in. This is a good thing because it will make me do things earlier.

Work is AMAZING. I feel like being behind a camera is where I'm supposed to be. I haven't had to run my own yet and am still learning but it has stirred a feeling in me to get out there and continue on with my dreams.

I have decided to dedicate at least 1 of my 2 days off this week to working on my screenplay. The notebook I carry around with me is busting with scenes and ideas I need to get typed out before they don't make any sense anymore. I am going to set a deadline for myself of the end of this month to have the rough draft complete and ready for revisions. This means that I will be spending a lot of time in front of my computer screen until then but I am willing to make that sacrifice not to mention I can always take it outside when it finally warms up again.

I have taken upon myself to test my skills by documenting my hometown, where I grew up, and significant places that have made a difference in my life. This task would be a lot easier if it weren't for my camcorder breaking on my Friday. Hopefully they'll be able to fix it this week and I'll be back on track.

Life is funny sometimes. Last summer I felt like I was lost, I had dreams and ideas but I didn't know what to do with them. Then I decided to go to Full Sail and move to Orlando. When that didn't work out I just knew it was never going to happen. Then I discovered that I could do school online and not have to move and things started looking up. Next I finally get a job after 4 months and it's along the same line as what I want to do and everything is falling into place. If you had told me 6 months ago that all of my dreams seem to coming true I would have laughed in your face but now I feel like anything is possible. 

This is a clip of my very first solo filming. Granted I get no credit for this and I just had to hold the shot but I am very proud of this and just wanted to share it with you.

New Job. New Energy. New Ideas.

Yesterday was my first day at KHBS/KHOG TV and I will say it went really well. Everyone is really friendly and I felt right at home within like 5 minutes. I started out basically watching and being told how things will go but at the 6 o'clock news I got to operate my first camera and I actually didn't screw it up. By the 10 I was printing scripts and running the camera again. I was very impressed with myself but I know I have a long way to go.

Live TV production seems to be a lot of wait, hurry up, wait, hurry up. We wait for scripts and then have less than 5 minutes to get them there before we go live. Then we do a broadcast and repeat. The 2 hour lunch break is nice but we repeat the process again and then go. I think I'm really going to like this and like the different things I'm going to learn here.

So I meet a guy who went to Full Sail for Film which is exactly what I was going to do until the economy bottomed out. It's really cool because now I have someone to talk to about school and different film ideas I have. I might even see if he'll check out one of my screenplays for me. This could be a very good asset for me in the future because I want to start producing my own short movies this summer and he knows a lot about the production side that I'm still learning.

Overall yesterday was a good day. Today is going to be crazy with babysitting my two favorite kids this afternoon and working tonight. I love being able to say that I'm working again. Such a nice feeling of accomplishment.

Big Day

In less than an hour I start my new job and I have never been more excited or nervous. Today is the semi-official start of my new career path. Let's hope all goes well. Anyone who can see the broadcast if something goes wrong it is so not my fault. Wish me luck.

And a minor side note, this is the 13th post of my blog and it's Friday the 13th. Freaky.

Scary Stuff

I'm pretty sure by this point everyone has heard about the plane crash that happened last night in Buffalo, NY. Now if you had told me this 2 years ago I wouldn't have really considered it more than the tragedy of a plane crash killing 50 people. But now this has a more special meaning to me. My best friend is from Buffalo, the baseball team I used to work for is based in Buffalo, and I have been to the Buffalo airport several times. One of which was a very scary almost landing that could have very easily been this situation. 

My heart and prayers go out to the families and friends of the people who were on that plane. I don't know how you ever really grasp something like this happening. 

I have never been the biggest flying fan. I'm claustrophobic so every time the door closes I have a small panic attack and I'm afraid of the plane crashing so every time there is a slight bump or dip I tend to overreact. Things like this just make it that much more real in my mind. Now I know there are hundreds of flights everyday and it's been 2 years since a plane crashed in the U.S. but it shows you that you can't take anything for granted because you never know when it's your time.

Now my best's friends family is still in Buffalo, well West Seneca to be more specific and her family is visiting her in Hilton Head, SC right now which means they will have to fly back to Buffalo soon. I haven't gotten to talk to her since this whole thing happened but I'm sure she is worried about that and the fact that she is flying here at the end of the month. I would be a little worried too. 

We won't know for a while what happened or exactly how many lives were lost but until then keep the families, friends, loved ones, and the people of Clarence in your thoughts and prayers.

I'm living in an Insane Asylum...

Since as far back as I can remember I have always been a pet person. One year my christmas list had 15 items on it and 10 of the 15 were a dog. I love cats and dogs, I even had fish at one point. So that is why I can take claim to 6 pets at this current moment. 3 dogs and 3 cats. Now 2 of the dogs live with my parents who have a bigger back yard and the other dog is technically my sisters but we share him. 1 of the cats is the very first "pet" that I had and still lives with my parents because she is to old to move and the other 2 live with me and my sister.

5 of the 6 pets are currently at my house after a crazy evening of dog hunting that ended up back at my house. Now my parents live less than a mile down the road and when the dogs still lived here we walked there often so they know the way to and from. 

I have been saying for weeks that they needed to come visit because they missed their home but with the ice storm our fence was in no shape to hold them in. Well the dogs decided for themselves today. They some how managed to find their way back home. After almost 30 minutes of driving around I decided to circle back by the house just in case. Out in the road darts my dog Alex. Now I have always teased that these weren't the brightest dogs in the world but apparently I was wrong. They found their way back again. It's my own mini version of Homeward Bound. 

I'm just glad that they came back and are not missing but it is crazy that they show up at the place they used to call home. 

Random Drives are the Best!

I've been feeling blocked lately. It may have something to do with the enormous amount of time that I have had to spend working on school work or it could be that I haven't really been inspired to write lately. So to get the creative juices flowing I decided to take a little drive this afternoon. I didn't really drive to go anywhere specific just to turn up the music, let my brain wander and get out of the hole I've been in for the last couple of days.

Nothing is better than setting the cruise control, singing at the top of your lungs and just letting it all go. I just let my mind wander where it wanted. I actually will say that about the time I hit Fort Smith and the sun peaked out of the clouds I actually started coming up with some good ideas again and I feel the energy and inspiration I felt a couple weeks ago. I think that I might actually get somewhere on my newest script now.

Now I probably wasn't the safest driver at 80 mph taking random pictures of the things that I saw or the views that inspired something in me but I didn't wreck and I didn't cause anyone else to wreck. There is a point when you are coming back into NWA and you top the hill before you reach Fayetteville that is one of my favorite views on I-540. You can see all of the U of A on the hill and at night the lights make it spectacular. When I was going to school in Conway this was my favorite part because it meant that I was home again. Seeing that view today, it felt just like it did back then. I wasn't even gone for more than 2 hours but yet again I had this feeling that I was home again and nothing beats that feeling.


So I have come to realize that everything happens for a reason and if you hold on long enough good things will eventually happen for you. After 4 long months of looking for a job I finally have one. This is great not only for the income but also to get me out of the house back into the real world.

I have always wanted to not work and be able to do what I want all day everyday but as soon as I got it I wanted to be working again. Talk about boring. When you have nothing to do all the time you find nothing to do.

I will be starting work at 40/29 news a week from today working on the 5, 6, and 10 o'clock broadcasts. It's not a high paying or the most glamorous job but it's a job and it's a start. I could not be happier.

Cross your fingers...

Have you ever been on a job interview and they tell you about the job and everything that you could be doing and you know it is exactly the job you want. I had one of those today. Now the only question is will I actually get the job. Sure I need the money and sure I need something else to do with my time but I think the best part of it is that it is the start of what I want to do. 

I always knew that to get into the TV/Film industry I would need to start at the bottom and learn and move from there and this is the beginning of that, if I get the job. It is just a part time camera operators position at one of the local TV stations but it is a start at learning about how things work and operate on sets. 

This job is not glamorous or even credited but I loved everything that this guy described. I knew when I stepped into the door of the control room that this is the place I want to be. Seeing the cameras and the sound equipment and everything made my hopes get higher and higher. Now all it comes down to is waiting until Friday to find out if I got it or not. Sure he said all he needed to do was check my references but I have been on several job interviews over the last 4 months of unemployment and I'm trying not to get my hopes up to high. In this economy there are so many people looking for jobs that it is hard to find an entry level position.

So I love my school but it is a lot of work. Not to mention it is bringing back all of this old math and science that I haven't thought about in years and am having a hard time remembering. Luckily I think it is slowly starting to sink in again and I'm grasping the material somewhat well. Good thing I love reading.

I have never felt more in control of my life than I do right now. It could all fall apart but for right now I feel like my life is following the path I have always wanted it to and I'm headed to where I want to go. How ever long it takes or the trials that may come along the way will be worth it because I can feel that this is what I was put on this earth to do. I just have to make the most of it and make it happen.

Good Day, Good Day

So it has been a fairly good day. I officially started school today and could not be more excited about it. I have never wanted to try so hard to accomplish something in my entire life. It's new, it's exciting, and it's everything that I have been working towards for a long time now. I can't wait for the pieces of the puzzle that is life to fall into place and to see where this dream can take me. 

Other good news of the day was that I have a job interview tomorrow. I'm so excited. Hopefully this one will turn out with a job because it is a start in the right direction for my future career. Sure it's only part time operating cameras and teleprompters for the 40/29 news but I will be getting real experience in a on set environment. As long as I don't botch the interview I feel like I might actually have a shot at this one.

I think I have finally found the right pieces to fit together to finally get me through school. This is the kind of school that I should have started out with. Then who knows where I would be right now. The program is fast and challenging and changes often to keep my interest peeked. I don't do well in the typical college setting because I get tired of learning the same thing everyday for 3-4 months. This is a new class or couple of classes a month. Every 4 weeks I get to change and move onto something new. Not to mention that it is online so I can go anywhere and move on with my career plan now while working on my degree. It's the best of both worlds. To bad it took me 6 years to figure it out.

Now if I can just make some money, pay off old debts, and save up enough money to get started either out west or east I'm going to move and make this dream of mine a reality. I don't know when or where this is going to happen but I feel that one day the fates will shine down on me and it will all work out. And if in the meantime I get to work through somethings creatively before I ever get anywhere then I will be a happy person.

I see my favorite TV shows and the actors and the crews involved and I think to myself one day I'm going to do that. One day I'm going to be involved in something that makes someone else feel the same things that I do when I watch them. I'm going to make this happen or I'm going to go down trying. 

I'm out of shape...

Today was the start of my new get in shape way of life. I don't want to call it a program or a diet because those sound so restricting. I like the freedom of doing what I want and not being tied down to a certain thing. That is why I'm going to gradually change my way of life to make it healthier. 

Try #1 was basketball. Now I haven't really played in over 5 years and I definitely have shot a ball in about 2. I was horrible. 95% of my shots were either air balls or complete bricks. I think I ran around more chasing the ball than I did actually playing. It took me a while to even make a layup. Hopefully as I play more my shot will come back. If not it's not like I'm trying to make a team or anything just be able to play for fun and not make a complete fool of myself.

Try #2 was a walk with Baxter (the dog) and my sister. Now I've been walking the dog for a couple weeks now and I think that walking is the best form of exercise to slowly work your way back into something. It can be as fast or as slow as you want it and you can change what you see of areas you walk around everyday.

School starts tomorrow and I'm really actually very excited. I got my new MacBook Pro yesterday and it might be the best computer I've ever had. I don't think I will ever go back from Mac's. I can't wait to start learning about this industry that I'm trying to break into. For the first time since I graduated high school I feel like I'm actually going somewhere with my life. Like I'm finally on the path that I want to be on. The one that will make me the happiest. Now if I could just find a job and start making some money I would be so much better off.

About Me

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I'm a 24 year old girl who is taking a change in direction and going to school online through Full Sail University seeking a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I'm working towards being a screenwriter/producer/director anywhere in the TV or Film industry.