Lost Love

So I am laying here watching the almost wedding of Lucas and Lindsey on One Tree Hill and it is making me think of what I would have gone through had I been invited to my ex's wedding. I think that is why I relate to Peyton so much. And the wedding of my ex to my once best friend is the reason that I am pursuing everything that I am now. Without that push and that pain I would have never had the strength to do the things I've done or to for the things I am. I miss them both everyday for very different reasons but I know that I am better off for being the person that I am now. I will move on eventually, I mean it's only been about 5 years now but when I do and I put all of it past me and move on with my life I will be a better person for this. This is why I want to move, why I want the career that I want. This is why I am me.

Ice Ice Baby

So it has been an eventful day here in NWA. The biggest ice storm that I can remember hit last night and has caused all kinds of problems. As I'm typing I'm hearing the pops and cracks of tree branches as they splinter under the weight of almost 2 inches of ice. Power has been come and go and I'm using this on time to reflect on the craziness that is winter weather.

I didn't sleep last night 1) because I will admit I am mildly obessed with One Tree Hill right now and I was watching season 4. Luckily most of my viewing survived the dreaded Fast Forward button to get to the good parts and skip the other stuff so I really got to remember the episodes and the back stories. 2) the ice was starting to break the branches at midnight last night and I knew it was only a matter of time before I lost power and heat. I didn't want to be startled by this when I woke up so I figured I would stay up until it went out. 9:30 this morning was the first time it went out and we've had basically 2 hours on and 2 hours off ever since then.

I officially hate the ice beacuse last night on my way to my car I slipped and landed on my right side and hurt my hip a little bit. No running around or jumping for a couple of days. Good thing I can't really get out of the house anyway.

I'm amazed at how much the TV shows, movies and music define a time in our lives. Going back and rewatching these episodes that I haven't watched in years reminds me of the first times I saw them. Like the pilot episode that I watched as a freshman in college in my dorm room with 4 of my really good friends and how that became the tradition for the rest of the year. How when I moved to FL and had to work and finally got the episodes online that I was so happy to have my best friend there with me to watch them. Even season 4 when we didn't have the CW here yet and I had to rely on the internet and my best friend who was over 1500 miles away to know what was going on. Every episode has a memory of what was going on when I first saw it. Just like songs that I randomly come across on my iPod bring up parties and road trips, or movies like Love Actually which was the first time my floor of my dorm all hung out together. It's these things in life that help keep those memories alive.

Stories are made to be shared. That is why we write them down or tell them to others. The stories of my life and everyone elses lives are never the same. Sure they all have similar routes or similar situations but they will never be exactly the same as yours. This is why I've decided that my next big writing project will be to tell my story. Not that I think my life is anymore special than anyone elses but there are things that I have gone through and lessons that I have learned along that way that could help someone in the future. If nothing else I will have this writing for the rest of my life and as something to show my children and their children. I think no one can ever really move into the future until they understand where they have come from and that is what I plan to do. Make since of this crazy thing that is my life and all the bad and good that has come from it.

Ok for my last little bit I just want to share a curiosity that I have. I have always wondered what it would like to be an actor/actress. Where do you get your motivation, what causes you to protray emotions in such a believable way? I've also wondered how the hell they can stay still so long when they are faking death. Now I've tried it recently and this is no easy task. Everytime I tell myself to be completely still I breathe harder than normal and my body begins to twitch. There must be a class out there somewhere dedicated to death/dead scenes. Maybe I just wasn't made to act or I just don't know the trick to making it work but it has peaked my curiosity.

Wanting to make my dreams come true today.

So I officially start school a week from today and I'm really excited about it. I can't wait for the next year or so to be done so I can be done with school and be able to start putting all my dreams into motion. The more movies and TV I see the more I want to move out to LA and get started. To bad I need this thing called a job and money to make that happen.

I've been working on a couple of scripts a lot lately with all of my down time. The first one is at the point right now where every time I read it I'm not happy with it and redo about every 10 pages. I think I'm going to shelve it for a little while until I can get a new focus on it. I started my second one this weekend and am very excited to work through it. It should be a good story. The best part is that the more I do that the more ideas for other projects that I get.

So I have recently been watching A LOT of One Tree Hill. Pretty much anytime my TV is on there is an episode of it playing on it. A show like that is something that I want to make one day. I know is not the action drama series that gets mass appeal but I want to make a show or a movie that takes people away from all of the bad in the world and puts them in a place where life is just a little bit simpler if just for a little bit. Not that One Tree Hill isn't full of it's own drama but it's not the pounding bad news after bad news that you get in the media and news everyday.

My next goal is to go and see a TV or movie or even a music video being produced. I want to be on a set and see what it is like. I want to see what everyone involved goes through to make it all happen. Until I can get real experience I don't think I can fully understand the whole creative process. So anyone who reads this and has any connections to anything like that please let me know.

SoCal Here I Come

I've decided to start a blog to log everything that I have and will go through in my quest to make it in the Film/TV industry. I'm not looking to be an actress or really anyone famous but I just want to make movies and TV shows that affect peoples lives like the movies and TV shows I watch do me. I have always had a secret desire to pursue something like this but never had the drive or determination to make it happen. After several years of soul search, skipping from college to college, and even moving away from home and back I've finally decided that I have to follow my heart and try to make it happen.

I realize that I am trying to make it in the toughest industry around but this is something that I have always wanted and I don't think I'll be truly happy until I at least give it a shot. That is why I have named this blog SoCal Here I Come. Everyone who wants to break in starts in LA and that's where I am headed, after I finally get through with school.

So the start to this journey begins January 28th through and online degree program through Full Sail University for a Bachelors in Entertainment Business. These plans are a little different than my orignals but due to the current economic situation in this country I could not afford to move to Orlando, FL right now and start the Bachelors in Film that I wanted. So as I do I am reevluating and readjusting to work things out.

This degree will start me in the industry while I can make money at a job here, if I can find one. That is another part of why I didn't move. I've been out of work since October and just recently filled or unemployment. So a couple of months of no income have not helped me at all. I have a job interview on Monday for a manager in training position with Car-Mart. Its a salary postion that should help me pay the bills and save up at the same time.

Since I was out of high schoool I've been quietly writing screenplays. My first attempt was horrible and was deleted from my computer recently but since finally deciding to go through with this the creative jucies have been flowing more freely and I am almost done with the first draft of my first screenplay as well as have a notepad full of ideas for more. I have never in my life been more inspired to do something or following it through.

So here is my blog to post my thoughts and ordeals as I swim these raging waters they call the entertainment industry.

About Me

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I'm a 24 year old girl who is taking a change in direction and going to school online through Full Sail University seeking a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I'm working towards being a screenwriter/producer/director anywhere in the TV or Film industry.