Felling Inspired and Determined.

There are times in life when the writing is on the wall and you can choice to ignore it or follow what it says.

This week has been one of those times.

I have always felt that there was a plan for my life and that all the crap and drama that I have gone through was supposed to happen to get me to where I'm supposed to go.

This week has showed me that what I have always thought was true is.

My place in this world is behind a camera, typing keys on a keyboard, and making something to entertain others.

I know now that the path I am on right now is the path I was always supposed to be on. I just had to go through the other crap to get here.

If I had started this 3 or 4 years ago I wouldn't have made it.

I was not as strong as I am now. I was not as determined as I am now.

Life is funny sometimes. It tosses and turns and does some crazy things. But in the end, what life throws at you can either break you or make you stronger and I am happy to say that it has made me stronger.

I can face the rejection that is bound to come, the doors that will slam in my face. I am a strong, determined woman ready to face this big scary world.

Bring it on! 

First script is almost done. Couple of final revisions and I will need a couple of people to read over it for me and I will be ready to look at getting it produced. I'm so excited. It's a very personal story with a lot of basis on my life which makes it all the more special. Even if I produce it myself with my handheld camera I want to see this story played out by someone else. I want to see the characters that have been running around my head for the last 3 years come to life in a way that I can only imagine. 

For all my critics.

Some people would say that I'm obsessive.

Some people would say that I need a life.

Some people would say that I need to get out of the house.

I say to all of these people that I have a passion for something that most people don't understand.

I like what I like and I do what I do. 

I watch what I watch and I listen to what I listen to.

This is me. Take it of leave it.

So I watch the same TV show over and over.

So I watch the same movie 5 times in a row.

So I go to the same play as many times as possible.

So I play the same song/album/playlist over and over.

I have a passion for the arts, for entertainment.

I always have and always will.

I love to be entertained.

I love to entertain people.

This is who I am. 

I will never apologize for it.

I will never change it.

If you can't accept it then it's your loss.

But if you keep me around my passion might just rub off on you.

Or you might discover something you never knew before.

I am me and that is all I can be. 

Random Post at 3:45 in the morning.

I can't sleep so I'm laying here re-watching random old episodes of One Tree Hill and I decided to watch an episode that I have struggled to watch since it first aired. Season 3 Episode 16 "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept." Most people would refer to this episode as the one where Keith died, or the school shooting episode. 

I would like to say thank you several years later to Mark Schwahn for writing this episode. Not many TV shows would be brave enough to tackle a subject like that. 

I struggle to watch it and cried pretty much through the whole thing but I think the message behind the episode is so important. It will always be one of those episodes that is relevant.

All of the actors in the episode deserve acclaim but I especially want to say excellent job to Colin Fickes who played Jimmy Edwards. The scene at the end when he is talking to Keith might be one of the best acting jobs I have ever seen. The raw emotion and power he delivered was amazing. 

Randomness of this post aside I just had to share my feelings. 

[Posted on my iPod touch]