Every night(or morning) right after I have brushed my teeth and washed my face there is a moment where I am about to lay down in bed and go to sleep (yes I do occasionally sleep). In this moment I am 100% comfortable. I am not self conscious, there are no doubts, no fears, no worries, just 100% at ease with my life. It is the only time I am 100% me. No makeup, hair in a ponytail, basketball shorts, a t-shirt and me. I'm not trying to impress anyone, trying to achieve anything, or do anything spectacular, I'm just being me. Some nights this moment lasts a long time and the comfort seeps in deep and sometimes its a brief flash before the worries and doubts resurface. It doesn't matter how long or short it lasts because I know that everyday I will have that feeling.
Comfort
I am always my most comfortable at home sitting in my room. Normally this comfort is linked to a pair of basketball shorts. Don't ask me why basketball shorts are my comfort item but they are. It's just me on nights like this, not the daughter, the sister, the student, the aspiring producer, the friend, the roommate, etc., it's just me. I feel that same comfort to a point on the basketball court. For some people it's the stage, some it's behind the wheel, some people it's in front of a crowd while others its alone away from the world. For me it's in my room, wearing my basketball shorts, hair pulled up, baggy t-shirt and all.
Have you ever thought about what or where makes you truly comfortable? I mean 100% comfortable with everything around you and in you. No second guessing, no doubting, no worrying just comfortable. I hope everyone has that sense of comfort as often as possible because it's a wonderful feeling.
Busy, Busy, Busy
I wished for my life to get out of the pattern it was in and I find myself in a whirlwind of activity. Baseball games, work, old friends, new friends, trip planning, move planning, life planning. So much to do and so little time to do it in. Can someone invent a time machine or a time slower downer, or anything that will help my time issues?
I love a busy life style, it's actually how I function best but I always feel like small things fall through the cracks when I'm this busy. The worst part is that I haven't been able to write or take pictures in this chaos. I have never been one that did my best with a lot of down time. In fact my brain goes crazy when I have to much down time. The more projects the better, the more work, the more school, the more everything.
Lets go over the highlights of the past several days, reconnected with friends from the baseball team, remembered why I knew this new dream would work from my days at the baseball team (see previous posts), worked lots of hours, cleaned my house in 2 hours (which is a record time for me), went to several baseball games, almost killed my phone with a puddle of water, finalized plans for my trip to Wilmington in exactly 1 week from today, finalized my list of apartments to look at for my trip, submitted resumes to some companies in Wilmington, started filming a small movie I thought of, learned 2 new songs on the guitar, started my next video project, spent time with my family, and started packing for my trip.
Now that was just my life since last Thursday, who knows where the rest of this week will take me.
Tomorrow I am going to the baseball game at 11, going to work at 3:45, possibly having my sister interviewed for one of our reporters sweeps pieces, homework, possibly going to dinner with one of the girls from the baseball team, more movie shooting after work (yes at 11 at night), writing after that and then maybe I'll get a little sleep.
If anyone comes up with a way to add a couple hours to the day please let me know, I could really use them. But really I love having a busy life style, it's my comfort zone. I wouldn't have my life any other way right now.
