There are no words, just wonderful memories.

If you had told me in January that by logging on to blogger and following Southern Gothic Productions that I would meet some of the greatest people and make some of the best friends I have ever had, I would have called you crazy. But that is exactly what happened this week in Wilmington, NC. I had the opportunity to hang out with 7 of the funniest, craziest and best people I have meet in as long as I can remember. Megan, Andrea, Becca, Lauren, Liz, Jaclyne, and Dani are people you rarely meet and the best part of it is that we all genuinely got a long. The stars alined and I was fortunate enough to be here in Wilmington when this lovely group came through. I could never have guessed that my integration into this fine city would have had a better start.

Tuesday was a day of highs and lows. My parents left town and I was finally on my own. The sadness of this sunk in quickly and I was left alone in my apartment for the first time. Later that evening I finally made it back out of that apartment and made my way downtown to meet up with them to go to see Bibis at the Whiskey. Driving down I didn't know what to expect, would we all get along, would it be awkward, would I be the intruder interrupting their trip. As I park and walk up to Port City Java thoughts of turning around and not going in keep passing through my head but I kept telling myself that after having meet Jaclyne and Liz the night before and everything being ok with that I could handle this as well. Walking in I knew the small group at the back was Kendall, Lauren, and Kendall's two friend immediately by the skeptical looks on their faces as I walk in the door. After quick introductions we walked up to Level 4 and meet the rest of the group. All of my fears and all of the potential awkwardness I had worried about quickly vanished and I felt a comfort with these people. Dinner at Paddy's Hollow only relaxed me more (especially after Megan stabbed Andrea with a knife after Andrea popped her on the head, no better ice breaker than violence). After some fun with a random bottle of chocolate syrup and a little bit of alcohol flowing we reached The Whiskey. I felt like I had known these people for so long and the friendships began to form. Alcohol may have soften some of the anxiety but the deeper feelings were true. These were my friends around me and I wouldn't have traded that night for anything.

Wednesday we meet up again and it was like we had known each other for so long. Retelling stories from the night before, looking at pictures and videos, giving each other crap for funny things we had done. After lunch at the Reel Cafe and getting to see the amazing rooftop bar we went out to the beach and took tons of pictures and watched Andrea fall chasing a seagull on my prompting. Momma Andrea made us a delicious dinner of Spaghetti and salad and we hung around the condo for a while playing beer pong and other random drinking games. The best moment of the evening came from playing Kings around the table and Becca joining in with her glass of water. Man I love that girl for having the guts to stick to what she believes and not succumb to the peer pressure around her. After a while we went down to The Copper Penny and Reel Cafe. We were still feeling the effects from the night before so we called it a night "early" and headed back to the condo. While at the bar I realized something. This was nothing like I had expected it to be. We all got along, we all talked and laughed together. It didn't matter who I was talking to or what we were talking about we were all getting along. You could look across the table and see the emotions in each of them and it was an amazing thing to be apart of. 

Thursday we went on a set tour with KT and piled 5 people in Liz's car to get there. After trying to break Lauren's leg we switched and put Lauren on top of everyone in the backs legs. Not the safest way to ride but it provided lots of laughter. After touring the sets with KT we went back out to the beach and the pier for more pictures and fun. After seeing a girl catch a shark and Becca filming it spinning around and around on the pier we went back into town and got ready for dinner at Caffe Phoenix. Dinner that night was something that I will forever be thankful that I was able to be apart of. I got to see first hand the effect the messages sent in from around the world had on KT and how much the box meant to him and will mean to the company. Jaclyne did an amazing job putting the items together and making the box to hold them all. So many amazing things held in one package. After that dinner we were going to take it easy that night and only hang around and make the Facts of Life intro remake. I got to try my hand at directing along with Lauren and I might have a new producing partner out of it. (K&L productions?) The video itself is amazing but the out takes and random conversations during the making of it are even more funny. After getting an idea for another video (that will get made soon) we needed to go to Wal-mart to get some supplies. While at Wal-mart we got word that OTH was filming on the beach and decided to go check it out seeing that we were still up anyway. This was a really cool thing for me personally because I had always wanted to see it in person. I didn't care about what was going on for the camera because I kept looking at what was going on around it. I knew that I was on the path at that moment seeing in action everything that I want to do. After everyone was extremely tired we went back to the condo and slept. 

Friday was a mixture of emotions all day I had the dread of Saturday and everyone leaving but I also had the feeling of enjoying every last minute with these people. A day of sightseeing everything we should have done during the rest of the week. Airlie Gardens was beautiful and Becca and I finally got to see the site we had been talking about for weeks. After that we went to the Bellamy Manison and toured the house. Both sites were amazing in their own ways. After the sightseeing we finally made it to the beach and went in the ocean. We also took pictures as a group in our SGP shirts and made a hilarious video of all of us (ok some of us) running into the ocean. Andrea feel and I had issues running but that made the video even better than we could have imagined. After swimming for a while and burying Andrea in the sand we went to dinner and came back to get ready for our last night out. Before going out we attempted to shoot a video blog about our trip. The stories are jumbled and it is a little hard to follow but it sums up the entire trip in one laugh filled video. My favorite part of the whole thing is at the end and it is a quote from Dani "I think I'm the only sane person here." That single sentence summed up the entire week. Luckily after that we didn't have to go far to go out. Just up to the next floor of the building. Level 5 was an amazing rooftop bar and we all were able to hang out and dance together.  After closing down the bar and going to get pizza down the street the few of us that were still awake all piled into the same small room with several of us in the same small futon. But that just shows how close we all got in a short amount of time. 

Saturday was a sad sad day. After waking up and helping to clean up the apartment we said our goodbyes to Becca and Dani who had to drive back to Meansville. Then it was Megan and Jaclyne's turn at the airport. Seeing that they were both traveling to the same cities they figured out a way for them to travel together and we went back to pick them up and get a little bit more time together. After a second and much dreaded goodbye to them we were down to three. Andrea, Lauren and I tried to waste the time before she had to be at the airport and distract ourselves from the sadness we felt. After finally having to take her to the airport and saying the final goodbye of the trip it was down to Lauren and me. I am thankful that I got to spend this week with Lauren because I know I have a friend in town and someone to help fill the silence that was left after the group all left. I never expected to feel the way I did yesterday. I was extremely sad to see each person go. 

It has been a little over 24 hours now since I said my last goodbye to this group of girls and Lauren and I are left in town to hold down the fort but I will miss the girls and the fun and laughter they brought this week. I will see them all again, some sooner than others and I will talk to them as often as possible but nothing will replace the feelings I had this week and the memories that will forever be with me. I have said since the beginning that there was a community around Southern Gothic Productions, that I would follow them as long as possible because of everything that they had done for me but I could never say thank you enough to them for bringing me such an amazing group of friends. They were the platform that allowed all of us to meet and interact and it might not be the most conventual way to meet but I am so glad that we did. Words will never be enough to tell about this week and I don't think any of us could ever truly convey everything that happened or sum up the total of our feelings. I moved to a new city and made more friends than I thought were possible. Yes they all might not live here (yet) and I will miss them greatly but they have helped me so much in a short amount of time to adjust to this city and my new life and I can never thank them enough for that. These will forever be my friends and I will forever have their backs. 

Birthday Surprises

Thanks to my wonderful sister and best friend I had one of the best birthday surprises given to me in a long long time. My sister flew in my best friend Lindsay from Orlando to be here for my birthday. I had no idea she was coming and didn't think I would get to see her before I moved. It was the even more impressive because Lindsay can hardly ever keep anything from me and she held on to this for a week. 

Besides my wonderful surprise I had a great last weekend at home. Got to see friends and family for the last time which was a happy/sad event. I'm going to miss everyone here sooo much but I will keep them in my heart as I journey to NC. 

Speaking of that trip/move, I was remotivated tonight while watching the Tony awards on TV. I saw the passion and the drive that these people had to put on shows that meant something to them and it just rang right into my heart. I thought that they were in my head reading the same thoughts and emotions I would have had if it were me up there. Also every time a play was called out or presented a part of myself couldn't help but wonder when and if we will see one Nicholas Gray on that stage because we all know his writing is fantastic and Tony worthy.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. They meant so much to me and I can honestly say I have never been as touched as I was to read them. A special thank you to Amber who made me an AMAZING video for my bday that was PERFECT!!!! 

I have new ideas rolling around through my head right now so I'm going to go work on them but again thank you to everyone for all of your support.

Life is a Highway

I have never been an open book, I have never wanted to share my thoughts with others, I have never been a risk taker, and I have never felt safer in doing any of it. Thats what the community at SoGoPro have done for me and I can never thank them enough for it. In a week I will be moving into my brand new apartment in Wilmington, NC. I will be away from my family (when they leave on Tuesday) and on my own for the first time in a couple years. I would have never made this decision or even thought that I had the strength to do it if it weren't for the wonderful people that hang around SGP (old and new webpages). 

I have never wanted to share more or be more open than I have this year. If I feel it I want to write it. If I think it, more than likely it will end up here. And I know that all my thoughts and feelings will be read by people who truly care about me. It's an awesome feeling knowing that you have people to count on when you are changing your life. I might not get to talk to all of them very often and they may be thousands of miles away but I know that they support me and my dreams and that is all that is needed. 

My journey is just beginning and I am a long ways away from being where I want to be but thanks to those who have influenced my life up until this point I know I can do it. From the people online to the people at home from my family and friends, I know that I can do this because there is a lot of love and support headed my way. I will see my movie made at some point in the future. I will see several others dreams made in the process. I am not starting out to be at the top. I am going to hit the trenches, work my way up and one day in the future I will see my name on that screen where I want it to be and I will know that I did everything I could to make it happen.

Thank you all for everything that you have done for me. Most of you don't even know that you have helped or influenced me at all but you have. The fire and drive that is inside me right now was ignited because of my good friends and my wonderful family (related and extended). I will try my hardest not to let you down and I will not give up in the face of rejection. I am destined to do something with this life and I am just learning what path that is taking me on. I hope all of you will be along for the ride with me.


How do you measure a life? Love? Happiness?

Everyone is different. Some measure their worth off of the stuff they own while others the amount of people they are surrounded by. Does the outside world make you happy or do you find your own happiness in side. When you die do you want people to look back at the things you accomplished, the things you owned or the kind of person you were? 

I don't care if I never make another dime, if I'm never the most popular person. I want to be able to look back in a couple of years and see that I have done things that make me happy. Things that I am passionate about. Money or no money, recognition or no recognition, I want to do something that I believe in, that will be part of someone else's world in a positive way. I could live in a box on the street and play music for food and be happy if I could make someone's day just a little brighter with the songs I play. I could live in a cramped apartment, living on roman noodles and no furniture if I could make a film that changed someone's life. 

I don't need tons of friends, I don't need tons of material things, I don't need tons of money. All I need is to be happy. To find that happiness inside myself in the projects that I do, the situations I put myself in and the decisions I make. I am well on my way to doing this and I have no idea how or when this is all going to happen for me but I know it will because I'm going to make it happen, and I'm willing to go without, do without, and be without to make it.

Reality TV

Today's idea of celebrity is really irritating to me. You can be a celebrity for doing absolutely nothing. Cases in point: Paris Hilton, The Real Housewives of (Insert Major City Name Here), and Jon and Kate plus 8 gang. I'm sorry but being a rich kid or allowing cameras to follow you around your so called "real" life are not attributes that make you a celebrity in my eyes. What do you really bring to the table? You have an interesting life story, who doesn't. You go out and party every night, who wouldn't want to do that. Why do we put these people in the same arena as people who have a craft, whether it be music, acting, being photogenic. They actually do something to make us want to watch them. 

I'm tired of scripted "reality" TV shows. I'm tired of walking to the check out counters and seeing so called "celebrities" plaster the magazine covers. I watched the finally of The Hills on MTV and most of it was just painful to watch. These are not actors and they try to be. A TV show that I used to watch because I felt like it had a realness to it has completely abandoned that whole way of showing their lives. Who has a freaking crane available in reality? 

I wish we could get back to making TV shows with stories and characters and things that take us out of our real everyday lives. Let's let the actors and the directors and producers go back to doing what they do best. There are so many wonderful ideas out there that we should be able to fill up every network and every time slot with something other than Survivor, American Idol, Fear Factor (even tho it's not on anymore). And if we do have to have reality TV can we go back to the way things were when reality TV started. Lets go back to the original, The Real World. Now that was reality TV at it's best and the most real you could ever get.

About Me

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I'm a 24 year old girl who is taking a change in direction and going to school online through Full Sail University seeking a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I'm working towards being a screenwriter/producer/director anywhere in the TV or Film industry.