Blog name change to reflect the new dream/drive. Felt like I needed to reflect the blog to the goal.
There are times I feel invisible. Like everyone around me just sees through me. I talk and no one responds, I walk and someone walks into me, I scream and no one reacts.
There are times I feel uncomfortable with attention. Everyone is talking to me, everyone wants to be around me, I cough and everyone reacts.
I can't find a happy medium. I don't want to go unnoticed and I don't want to be the center of attention.
Lately I just feel insignificant. Like I'm not doing any good for anyone. If I disappeared no one would notice.
I have good days and bad days. I have moments where I see that everything I've been thinking is a lie but at times I can't see the sun from behind the clouds.
I want to make a difference. I want my life to mean something. I want my dreams to come true. I want, I want, I want. I want this all to happen now because I'm tired of talking and ready to do.
I don't want to waste my time standing still. I want to move forward. I want to achieve and see and do. I want it all.
But I'm stuck, a prisoner to a lack of money. I don't like being told I can't do something. I don't like feeling like this dream is just that, only a dream and will never be reality.
I don't want pity, I don't want to be whiny. I just don't know what to do. I'm stuck. I'm stalling. And meanwhile life is moving on around me.