Blog name change to reflect the new dream/drive. Felt like I needed to reflect the blog to the goal.

There are times I feel invisible. Like everyone around me just sees through me. I talk and no one responds, I walk and someone walks into me, I scream and no one reacts.

There are times I feel uncomfortable with attention. Everyone is talking to me, everyone wants to be around me, I cough and everyone reacts.

I can't find a happy medium. I don't want to go unnoticed and I don't want to be the center of attention.

Lately I just feel insignificant. Like I'm not doing any good for anyone. If I disappeared no one would notice. 

I have good days and bad days. I have moments where I see that everything I've been thinking is a lie but at times I can't see the sun from behind the clouds.

I want to make a difference. I want my life to mean something. I want my dreams to come true. I want, I want, I want. I want this all to happen now because I'm tired of talking and ready to do.

I don't want to waste my time standing still. I want to move forward. I want to achieve and see and do. I want it all. 

But I'm stuck, a prisoner to a lack of money. I don't like being told I can't do something. I don't like feeling like this dream is just that, only a dream and will never be reality.

I don't want pity, I don't want to be whiny. I just don't know what to do. I'm stuck. I'm stalling. And meanwhile life is moving on around me.

Come Undone

I think my feelings can be summed up in lyrics from "Come Undone" by Jackson Waters

"There are ways that I've been falling
There are times that I've been so weak
There are moments I hear redemption calling
But I'm too far down to speak

Come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone

There are scars that I've been hiding
There are ghosts that I do not name
There are closets I do not care to open
They open all the same

Come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone"

About Me

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I'm a 24 year old girl who is taking a change in direction and going to school online through Full Sail University seeking a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I'm working towards being a screenwriter/producer/director anywhere in the TV or Film industry.