Thank You!

As tears are forming in my eyes from the amazing words that I have received tonight I just wanted to say thank to everyone who commented, who has read my blog, who has had the random conversations with me, who have pushed me, who have been there and most of all who have taken a little time out of their life to help me.

I don't want the impression to be that I am doubting the path that I am on. I know that my heart is leading me in the right direction and that this is what I have wanted since I was a little girl and pretended that my life was a movie.

When I was a senior in high school I convinced myself that I was going to move to Hollywood and become an actress. I was going to move and be part of the entertainment industry. However I decided that college was the "right" path for me. So I went to school and started following a path that was never really mine. College is what was expected. I will never regret this because I was young and would have burned out so quickly. I am a stronger person now. I have lived and learned. 

Of course I'm scared and I have my moments of "What the heck am I thinking?" But thanks to all of your words and encouragement I will never again let that thought dwell in my head. I know that I am ready to make this move and take this step and am really looking forward to everything. 

Thank you again for everything. Everyone who is reading this is a very special part of my life. 

And know that your words have inspired me to add 20 more pages to my second screenplay.

(P.S. This also helps put a smile on my face)

Am I a Fraud?

I talk a lot about following your heart and your dreams but I wonder deep down if I'm a fraud for saying this. I know that I have on more than one occasion stopped myself from doing something because I was scared. I have not gone for what I wanted because what do you do when it doesn't work out.

I like to think that the old me is the one who caused that to happen. I like to think that I wouldn't stop myself again but would I?

Change is scary. Life comes at you from all different angles. Especially when you finally feel like you are on the right path again.

I don't want to leave my family and my hometown, but at the same time if I don't I know that I will never make my dream come true.

So does following my dream and my heart have to come in front of my family? If I leave them behind will I ever be able to come home? Is all of this pointless and something that will never come true?

I know these questions cross the mind of everyone who has faced the unknown. I know that I am not alone in these feelings. But I also know that if I am not selfish at this point in my life I will never be. 

I am ready now to make this happen. I am ready now to soar or crash. Whatever happens I can take it. I will live my life not as a fraud who talks the talk and doesn't walk the walk. 

I will hold on to my dreams. They will guide me through this life. Without dreams we are wandering souls looking for a path to follow. If you have a dream fight like hell to make it come true. If you lost your dream fight like hell to dream bigger. If you have no dream look into your heart and listen to what it tells you. Dreams are not always obvious. Sometimes they smack us in the face when we least expect it. But in the end dream like there is no tomorrow because you never know when tomorrow might just come your way.

"I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." - Bob Dylan.

"Always know that there is nothing between you and your dream except you. You're in control of your destiny - be the best you can be!" - Chris Angel Mindfreak

What defines a person?

What defines a person?

Is it what they do? Is it what they wear? 

Is it where they grew up or the people they hang out with?

Can a job, money, clothes, stuff make a difference?

Once you are seen in one way can you ever change that?

I am trying to break the mold I have established for myself. Rewriting my future so to speak. But I wonder if those who knew me before the change will ever see me as the new person or will I always be the person I was to them.

Can you ever truly change, or are we stuck with what we were?

I feel different, I look at things different, I even act different. But does that mean that I am different. Would someone who has known me my whole life see the difference? 

Are we who we define ourselves to be or are we who others define us as?

I hate the idea of labels. Jock, geek, rebel, slut, loner. They are just words. People are who they are. They feel and act and think differently from others around them. No two people will ever have the same life experiences. They will never truly share the same thoughts or feelings on ever subject. So how can we judge someone based off of what we think or feel? 

I want to blaze my own trail. I want people to see me for who I am. I am a different person than I was. I am me. 

Big New, Big Day (tomorrow)

Big News = more good news about backing for my screenplay. Now I hope all of these backers will just keep holding on through my revisions process.

Big Day (tomorrow) = tomorrow is my first day alone on audio during a news broadcast. SCARY! I have had a little practice but it will be interesting to see how this goes. 

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's still a long ways away.

Side note, plans for a trip to Wilmington coming together for the end of April. SOOO Excited. Got to find somewhere to move to.

Top Choices for Mona

My top 3 choices for Mona:

1. Maggie Gyllenhaal

2. Zooey Deschanel

3. Rachel McAdams