Am I a Fraud?

I talk a lot about following your heart and your dreams but I wonder deep down if I'm a fraud for saying this. I know that I have on more than one occasion stopped myself from doing something because I was scared. I have not gone for what I wanted because what do you do when it doesn't work out.

I like to think that the old me is the one who caused that to happen. I like to think that I wouldn't stop myself again but would I?

Change is scary. Life comes at you from all different angles. Especially when you finally feel like you are on the right path again.

I don't want to leave my family and my hometown, but at the same time if I don't I know that I will never make my dream come true.

So does following my dream and my heart have to come in front of my family? If I leave them behind will I ever be able to come home? Is all of this pointless and something that will never come true?

I know these questions cross the mind of everyone who has faced the unknown. I know that I am not alone in these feelings. But I also know that if I am not selfish at this point in my life I will never be. 

I am ready now to make this happen. I am ready now to soar or crash. Whatever happens I can take it. I will live my life not as a fraud who talks the talk and doesn't walk the walk. 

I will hold on to my dreams. They will guide me through this life. Without dreams we are wandering souls looking for a path to follow. If you have a dream fight like hell to make it come true. If you lost your dream fight like hell to dream bigger. If you have no dream look into your heart and listen to what it tells you. Dreams are not always obvious. Sometimes they smack us in the face when we least expect it. But in the end dream like there is no tomorrow because you never know when tomorrow might just come your way.

"I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." - Bob Dylan.

"Always know that there is nothing between you and your dream except you. You're in control of your destiny - be the best you can be!" - Chris Angel Mindfreak


GeOh March 22, 2009 at 12:03 AM  

Youre not a fraud. Youre Human. We all can give better advice than we take, and it doesnt make you any less of who you are.

I will say this though. If you dont Piss in the wind and stare down the barrel of that gun, you wont get anywhere.

I'm actually where I am due to a mixture of unfornunate events Good timing, and A series of stupidities on my part. I'm not going to lie and say that I dont have any regrets, because I have plenty, and If asked if I would do it differently, The answer would be yes. I don't care for much of what I have done and what I have gone through, though it definitely makes me the person I am today.

The secret is being content after the fact. If you can hold your breath, take that dive, and Rise to the top of your desision, then youll be fine. You are not fraud.

You are Kim.

Megan March 22, 2009 at 12:34 AM  

you are definitely not a fraud!! But don't jump into something if you're not truly ready. If you have doubts, figure them out before you take the leap - it will be so much easier!!

I told myself when I was like 15 that I was going to move to Hollywood or NYC as soon as I finished high school, but I chickened out and didn't do it. I beat myself up about for the first few years of college but realized that it was all for the best, I just wasn't ready then. I know I am ready now because I have absolutely no fears about it, I have nothing to lose. Life will go on whether you fail or succeed... it'll all be okay in the end.

You say you're ready, so are you?? Or are you going to keep questioning your decisions and the what-ifs?

calina15 March 22, 2009 at 12:51 AM  

To echo what Megan and Geoh said... you are definitely not a fraud!!
Comfort is obviously safe. You should feel weird about this change that's going to happen. I am going through the same thing. Yes, you will have doubts but keep focusing on your passion.
I have a journal filled with inspirations quotes about music, quotes from books, and other things. Anytime I feel like a fraud I read some quotes from my journal and it helps me focus. You passion and your dreams are REAL! They aren't fake. Don't for one second believe that they are.
Its ok to fail. I am learning that myself. You learn from failing, from success not so much. (thats from Meet the Robinsons).

Anyways, I'm rambling and I hope this makes sense.
Kim, you are going to do great things. DOn't let fear hold you back

Kaitlan.Olivia March 22, 2009 at 1:03 AM  

First off you are most definitely not a fraud, like GeOh said you are human. Its not a bad thing to want to stay in your comfort zone. Every person in their life has turned something down because they were afraid. It happens to the best of us.

The important thing now is that you are not allowing that fear to hold you back. You are pushing forward and making your dreams come true. I so commend you for that, like I said in the chat earlier I don't think I could do what you are doing. Picking up your life and moving to a new place. That takes guts girl! :)

You are meant for great things, and don't let anyone tell you any different. Plus if your every feeling down you have us at SGP talk to, and most importantly your family & friends. They will always be there for you!!

Best of Luck & Much Love
Kait(KO) :)

Anonymous March 22, 2009 at 1:03 AM  

You know, family means a lot but you have to tread your own path. And at the end of the day, you can always go home. That is the beauty of family and home. They'll be there, waiting when you need them.

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

Amber Rae March 22, 2009 at 1:16 AM  

we all have to fall in order to pick ourselves up and fix whatever went wrong so it doesnt happen again. we learn from mistakes. that's just the way it is. no one's perfect even though a lot of people strive to be. everything won't go the way you want it to be and nothing will always go the way it should be. that's just life. it throws you around a lot, but if you don't fight back, then you're just as bad as someone giving up. but kim, YOU personally are not that person. I know it. Everyone else knows it. All of us have only known each other for a few months, some even less than that, but we all know how great each of us can be. we are all always going to be here for you. especially me. :) but im sure you already know that. I'd never miss an opportunity to be part of something great...or in this case...someone :)

"life's about change; somtimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful, but most of the time it's both"

becca16 March 22, 2009 at 1:31 AM  

"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -Thoreau

Dreams are ALWAYS worth chasing, but you have to be sure the ones you are chasing is the one you want and will get the most out of. You're anything but a fraud my dear, you're you and you're finding your way. We all are. I left for school right away and moved out, but the thing was, I knew the day I left I shouldn't. I told myself that I was doing what I had to do, but the truth I've come to discover is that I wasn't moving for myself I was moving for my parents and their ideas and I was leaving for the naive person I used to be that wanted to out. The answer is always simple, follow your heart, it's finding out what problem that answers that makes it hard.
You can do it though. Just believe in yourself and believe in the words you wrote and remember how you felt when you wrote them. They weren't coming from a fraud, they were coming from a girl that was taking a stand her in life, a stand that she made on her own, a stand that she wanted to take more than anything else in the world, and a stand that she believed in. Just find that girl again, and we'll be here to remind you of her every step of the way. I promise.


Liz March 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM  

what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?- unknown

its what drives me everyday and it was on a card given to me by my dad when i got back from LA for the first time at 17 since then i've push and pushed to succeed.

Don't be afraid to fail because you will go a lot further :)

¤¤Marion¤¤ March 23, 2009 at 12:26 PM  

Just follow your heart ( very short and cheesy compared to the others but so true ).

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I'm a 24 year old girl who is taking a change in direction and going to school online through Full Sail University seeking a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I'm working towards being a screenwriter/producer/director anywhere in the TV or Film industry.