Life is Good.

A lot of good things have been happening in my life lately and I never expected half of them.

• New Job
• Finished Screenplay
• Friends - New/Old

I have advanced very quickly at my job. Within 2 weeks of starting I have trained on prompter and they are talking about training me on audio. This is faster than most people advance. I don't really know how to feel about it. I'm honored that they think I know what I'm doing enough to move me that quickly but I don't think I'm special enough to deserve it. It all just seems to good to be true. This is my first experience with any type of work like this. I just don't know if I'm a natural at this or something or what. It's a lot to process.

My screenplay is getting reviewed by several people and I'm very interested in their feedback. I have been very hard on myself lately and can't shake the feeling that the screenplay is just not good and I'm silly for thinking that it is. I'm very hard on myself and I am my worst critic. It has always been this way. I am so personally attached to parts of this story that I just want to see something happen with it. Even if I film it and show it just to my grandkids one day.

I have made so many new friends in the last several months. It's crazy how fast a community can form. SGP has provided a common interest for so many people who probably would have never meet before. Through there blog and the chat I have meet and talked to so many people, several of which I would call friends. We are our own little family and community and it's a beautiful thing to be a part of. 

I have also reconnected with old friends and that is something that I have looked forward to over the last several years. I have a tendency to close myself off to people. I don't know why I do this but I always have. I'm trying to change it but it's a slow process. 

Thanks to this blog, the Southern Gothic Productions blog, my best friend Lindsay, my family and the people I have met through SGP. I am truly happy with my life and the direction I am headed in. Each of you have played a role in this and I will forever be grateful for everything you have done, with or without knowing it.

Big Day for SGP

SGP REACHED 500 FOLLOWERS!!!

Congrats to Hil, Kelly, Nick, James, Eddie, Ali, and everyone invovled. You guys deserve everything that is happening for your company.

The heart that is behind this company is going to drive it to amazing heights. Pedestrian is going to rock and the future is bright for any projects they follow with.

They are doing something truly special and sharing it with their fans. The openess they have had since January and the start of the blog is what makes them stand apart from other companies.

Thank you for allowing all 500+ and many more people to share a small part in your journey.

[Posted on my iPod touch]

Springdale, AR

There are a few things that Springdale, AR is famous for...

• The starting place of Tyson's Chicken
• The Northwest Arkansas Naturals
• The Duggars

Now from this there have been stereotypes linked to the area.

We were the home to "Feather Fest" and festival dedicated to all things chicken. 

Our nickname is Chickendale. 

And of course we are from Arkansas so you get the picture.

This past weekend my best friend came in from South Carolina. She watches the Duggars TV show 18 and Counting on TLC. Now being a fan of the show she wanted to go and find the house and take a picture of it.

Now I am not the stalker type. I don't promote finding people's house and taking pictures. But I couldn't say no for some reason. So we went out and she took pictures as I hid in the car. 

The Duggars are a nice family of very well behaved children. I have been around them several times and they are always polite and respectful. I don't see how you can have 18 children but I struggle with ever facing a future where I'll have 1. 

For those interested I have included 1 picture of the house. 

Springdale, AR and all of Northwest Arkansas is a growing area even through this tough economic times home of Wal-Mart and several other Fortune 500 companies. We are so much more than outside perception gives us credit for. (Sorry, I have a soapbox when it comes to my hometown)

From darkness to light...

I have wanted to blog all night. But I have been at a lose for anything to say. 

That inspirational spark has been missing and I don't know where it went.

The only thing that is coming into my head is a back story to how I got to where I am today.

My senior year of high school I fell in love for the first time. He was my high school sweetheart, my first love. We dated throughout the year and I had never been happier. As the end of the year and graduation grew closer I grew more and more scared of what the future would bring for the two of us. He was joining the marines and I was moving away to college.

After a couple of weeks of worrying and reflection I decided that the best thing for the both of us would be to break up. A couple of weeks before school ended I ended things. I was not happy with my decision and still loved him but I couldn't face a future of being separated and I had big plans for my life.

I never thought he would move on, especially to my best friend. I had moved away to college and missed him like crazy but I didn't know how to reach him or what was going on with him. I sent him a couple letters telling him how I felt but never got a response. I talked to my best friend about it but she never said anything about knowing anything about his life.

When he came home in October after basic training I decided to come home for his welcome home party. That was single handedly the worst day of my life. In one night I lost the love of my life and my best friend. 

Over the next couple of years I would randomly see them while I was at work and avoided them at all costs. One day he came and talked to me while I was working. I don't remember much about the conversation but I remember he said he missed me. A couple weeks later my mom called me from the living room. She handed me the paper and told me I might want to sit down to read it. As I was sitting I saw the picture of my best friend and my ex at their wedding.

They got married a week after my birthday, about a week after I spoke to my ex. That is when everything went down hill. I had never been depressed before but everything kind of went dark and had no meaning or purpose anymore. 

It has taken me a little over 3 years to accept this and I'm finally reconnecting with them but it will never be the same.

If it hadn't been for this dark period in my life I wouldn't have found myself and found the inspiration to follow my dream. I learned a lot about myself and grew up more than I would have expected. I can now face the world and know that I will be ok. So in a way I should thank them for everything.

Friendship (inspired by SGP)

It continues to amaze me how much SGP and the blogs they post inspire me.

Hil posted a new blog today about an awesome friend who got her through a rough time. I just had an awesome weekend with my best friend and after reading that and spending time with her it has caused me to reflect on our friendship.

In the past I have had friends that have hurt me and used me. It caused me not to trust people and to pull away. I told myself that I would never have a really close friend again. I couldn't deal with the rejection and pain again.

All of that changed when I decided to change my life. I was depressed. I never got out of bed, avoided my friends and family, and basically fell of the face of the planet. I wasn't proud of myself at that time and I was walking across campus on the rare day that I did go to class because of a test or something and noticed a sign for the Disney College Program. 

I decided to apply because I needed a change and to get out of NWA and move on with my life. I was accepted and moved to Orlando in January of 2006. By that March I was working 60-70 hours a week and my friends were becoming the people I worked with. I never knew that I would find that one person to completely bring me out of the darkness there. Lindsay was the kind of friend I had always looked for. She helped me when I moved back home and started slipping again. She helped me when I had to face my past head on. She helped push me towards this dream of mine.

We have lived on opposite sides of the country since we left Disney but that doesn't stop us from being good friends. I know that if I need her she is always a phone call away to help me handle whatever crappy situation I'm in.

Good friends are hard to find but once you have them they can change your life forever.