I'm starting a small review blog for my own writing practice and your enjoyment. Check it out at http://reviewsbykc.blogspot.com.
The End
This is it. This chapter of my book is closing. I made it to Wilmington and therefore feel that this blog has run it's course. I made the first step in the big journey that is my career. I don't know what is to come from this move or when or if my dream will come true. All I know is that I am on my own and for the most part it is amazing. I have never felt more alive or free and scared all at the same time. Something inside me tells me this is all going to work out and it wasn't all in vain. But I honestly wouldn't be here if it weren't for the wonderful support system that I have backing me.
My parents are the greatest parents in the world and I would be willing to fight someone on that. They are not only my emotional backers but they have taken the financial burden of this move. When I first decided I wanted to move they were not sure if it was a good idea or if I had thought it all through. Slowly as we grew closer and closer my passion and drive to make this happen seemed to rub off on them. When I decided to push my original timeline up and move in June they took on everything with nothing but smiles offering many options and plans to make it happen. I felt bad for going so overboard on getting my apartment set up but they said you need it so we will get it. I don't know if I would be here if it weren't for them and not just because of the money. I have always been a big family person. I love spending time with my family. Shoot I used to spend friday nights on my breaks from work with my parents having dinner and going to Sam's Club. I might be lame for this but they are my rocks. I know no matter what happens they will always be there for me and if I really need them to be they will get here as fast as they possibly can. I miss them like crazy and love them more than any amount of words could say.
My sister has been another big supporter of this move and my new journey. She was the first person I told that I wanted to go to film school, that I wanted to move, that I was moving to Wilmington. We might not have always got along when we lived together but she is my sister. I will forever have her back and she will forever have mine. She was the one who was willing to drive with me across country if my parents couldn't come (granted she ended up having to go to England but it's the thought that counts). She offered countless times many ways to help me out. She even was gracious enough to let me stay living in her house even when I was unemployed and couldn't pay the rent and bills. Without my sister I would be lost in this world and I might not always tell her this but I love her very much and miss her like crazy. It's weird coming home and not having her there.
I have countless other people who I have to thank for making this happen and I will do that in my own time in my own way. From my best friend, to my friends back at home to all of my friends at SGP I just want to say a big Thank You!!! You know what you have done and if you don't read back a few blogs and you'll probably remember. :)
As I close this chapter I am opening up a new one. My new blog will be up and running shortly with all of the crazy adventures this new town and journey take me on. Thank you for following my journey thus far and I hope you will continue on with me in the future.
There are no words, just wonderful memories.
If you had told me in January that by logging on to blogger and following Southern Gothic Productions that I would meet some of the greatest people and make some of the best friends I have ever had, I would have called you crazy. But that is exactly what happened this week in Wilmington, NC. I had the opportunity to hang out with 7 of the funniest, craziest and best people I have meet in as long as I can remember. Megan, Andrea, Becca, Lauren, Liz, Jaclyne, and Dani are people you rarely meet and the best part of it is that we all genuinely got a long. The stars alined and I was fortunate enough to be here in Wilmington when this lovely group came through. I could never have guessed that my integration into this fine city would have had a better start.
Tuesday was a day of highs and lows. My parents left town and I was finally on my own. The sadness of this sunk in quickly and I was left alone in my apartment for the first time. Later that evening I finally made it back out of that apartment and made my way downtown to meet up with them to go to see Bibis at the Whiskey. Driving down I didn't know what to expect, would we all get along, would it be awkward, would I be the intruder interrupting their trip. As I park and walk up to Port City Java thoughts of turning around and not going in keep passing through my head but I kept telling myself that after having meet Jaclyne and Liz the night before and everything being ok with that I could handle this as well. Walking in I knew the small group at the back was Kendall, Lauren, and Kendall's two friend immediately by the skeptical looks on their faces as I walk in the door. After quick introductions we walked up to Level 4 and meet the rest of the group. All of my fears and all of the potential awkwardness I had worried about quickly vanished and I felt a comfort with these people. Dinner at Paddy's Hollow only relaxed me more (especially after Megan stabbed Andrea with a knife after Andrea popped her on the head, no better ice breaker than violence). After some fun with a random bottle of chocolate syrup and a little bit of alcohol flowing we reached The Whiskey. I felt like I had known these people for so long and the friendships began to form. Alcohol may have soften some of the anxiety but the deeper feelings were true. These were my friends around me and I wouldn't have traded that night for anything.
Wednesday we meet up again and it was like we had known each other for so long. Retelling stories from the night before, looking at pictures and videos, giving each other crap for funny things we had done. After lunch at the Reel Cafe and getting to see the amazing rooftop bar we went out to the beach and took tons of pictures and watched Andrea fall chasing a seagull on my prompting. Momma Andrea made us a delicious dinner of Spaghetti and salad and we hung around the condo for a while playing beer pong and other random drinking games. The best moment of the evening came from playing Kings around the table and Becca joining in with her glass of water. Man I love that girl for having the guts to stick to what she believes and not succumb to the peer pressure around her. After a while we went down to The Copper Penny and Reel Cafe. We were still feeling the effects from the night before so we called it a night "early" and headed back to the condo. While at the bar I realized something. This was nothing like I had expected it to be. We all got along, we all talked and laughed together. It didn't matter who I was talking to or what we were talking about we were all getting along. You could look across the table and see the emotions in each of them and it was an amazing thing to be apart of.
Thursday we went on a set tour with KT and piled 5 people in Liz's car to get there. After trying to break Lauren's leg we switched and put Lauren on top of everyone in the backs legs. Not the safest way to ride but it provided lots of laughter. After touring the sets with KT we went back out to the beach and the pier for more pictures and fun. After seeing a girl catch a shark and Becca filming it spinning around and around on the pier we went back into town and got ready for dinner at Caffe Phoenix. Dinner that night was something that I will forever be thankful that I was able to be apart of. I got to see first hand the effect the messages sent in from around the world had on KT and how much the box meant to him and will mean to the company. Jaclyne did an amazing job putting the items together and making the box to hold them all. So many amazing things held in one package. After that dinner we were going to take it easy that night and only hang around and make the Facts of Life intro remake. I got to try my hand at directing along with Lauren and I might have a new producing partner out of it. (K&L productions?) The video itself is amazing but the out takes and random conversations during the making of it are even more funny. After getting an idea for another video (that will get made soon) we needed to go to Wal-mart to get some supplies. While at Wal-mart we got word that OTH was filming on the beach and decided to go check it out seeing that we were still up anyway. This was a really cool thing for me personally because I had always wanted to see it in person. I didn't care about what was going on for the camera because I kept looking at what was going on around it. I knew that I was on the path at that moment seeing in action everything that I want to do. After everyone was extremely tired we went back to the condo and slept.
Friday was a mixture of emotions all day I had the dread of Saturday and everyone leaving but I also had the feeling of enjoying every last minute with these people. A day of sightseeing everything we should have done during the rest of the week. Airlie Gardens was beautiful and Becca and I finally got to see the site we had been talking about for weeks. After that we went to the Bellamy Manison and toured the house. Both sites were amazing in their own ways. After the sightseeing we finally made it to the beach and went in the ocean. We also took pictures as a group in our SGP shirts and made a hilarious video of all of us (ok some of us) running into the ocean. Andrea feel and I had issues running but that made the video even better than we could have imagined. After swimming for a while and burying Andrea in the sand we went to dinner and came back to get ready for our last night out. Before going out we attempted to shoot a video blog about our trip. The stories are jumbled and it is a little hard to follow but it sums up the entire trip in one laugh filled video. My favorite part of the whole thing is at the end and it is a quote from Dani "I think I'm the only sane person here." That single sentence summed up the entire week. Luckily after that we didn't have to go far to go out. Just up to the next floor of the building. Level 5 was an amazing rooftop bar and we all were able to hang out and dance together. After closing down the bar and going to get pizza down the street the few of us that were still awake all piled into the same small room with several of us in the same small futon. But that just shows how close we all got in a short amount of time.
Saturday was a sad sad day. After waking up and helping to clean up the apartment we said our goodbyes to Becca and Dani who had to drive back to Meansville. Then it was Megan and Jaclyne's turn at the airport. Seeing that they were both traveling to the same cities they figured out a way for them to travel together and we went back to pick them up and get a little bit more time together. After a second and much dreaded goodbye to them we were down to three. Andrea, Lauren and I tried to waste the time before she had to be at the airport and distract ourselves from the sadness we felt. After finally having to take her to the airport and saying the final goodbye of the trip it was down to Lauren and me. I am thankful that I got to spend this week with Lauren because I know I have a friend in town and someone to help fill the silence that was left after the group all left. I never expected to feel the way I did yesterday. I was extremely sad to see each person go.
It has been a little over 24 hours now since I said my last goodbye to this group of girls and Lauren and I are left in town to hold down the fort but I will miss the girls and the fun and laughter they brought this week. I will see them all again, some sooner than others and I will talk to them as often as possible but nothing will replace the feelings I had this week and the memories that will forever be with me. I have said since the beginning that there was a community around Southern Gothic Productions, that I would follow them as long as possible because of everything that they had done for me but I could never say thank you enough to them for bringing me such an amazing group of friends. They were the platform that allowed all of us to meet and interact and it might not be the most conventual way to meet but I am so glad that we did. Words will never be enough to tell about this week and I don't think any of us could ever truly convey everything that happened or sum up the total of our feelings. I moved to a new city and made more friends than I thought were possible. Yes they all might not live here (yet) and I will miss them greatly but they have helped me so much in a short amount of time to adjust to this city and my new life and I can never thank them enough for that. These will forever be my friends and I will forever have their backs.
Birthday Surprises
Thanks to my wonderful sister and best friend I had one of the best birthday surprises given to me in a long long time. My sister flew in my best friend Lindsay from Orlando to be here for my birthday. I had no idea she was coming and didn't think I would get to see her before I moved. It was the even more impressive because Lindsay can hardly ever keep anything from me and she held on to this for a week.
Besides my wonderful surprise I had a great last weekend at home. Got to see friends and family for the last time which was a happy/sad event. I'm going to miss everyone here sooo much but I will keep them in my heart as I journey to NC.
Speaking of that trip/move, I was remotivated tonight while watching the Tony awards on TV. I saw the passion and the drive that these people had to put on shows that meant something to them and it just rang right into my heart. I thought that they were in my head reading the same thoughts and emotions I would have had if it were me up there. Also every time a play was called out or presented a part of myself couldn't help but wonder when and if we will see one Nicholas Gray on that stage because we all know his writing is fantastic and Tony worthy.
Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. They meant so much to me and I can honestly say I have never been as touched as I was to read them. A special thank you to Amber who made me an AMAZING video for my bday that was PERFECT!!!!
I have new ideas rolling around through my head right now so I'm going to go work on them but again thank you to everyone for all of your support.
Life is a Highway
I have never been an open book, I have never wanted to share my thoughts with others, I have never been a risk taker, and I have never felt safer in doing any of it. Thats what the community at SoGoPro have done for me and I can never thank them enough for it. In a week I will be moving into my brand new apartment in Wilmington, NC. I will be away from my family (when they leave on Tuesday) and on my own for the first time in a couple years. I would have never made this decision or even thought that I had the strength to do it if it weren't for the wonderful people that hang around SGP (old and new webpages).
I have never wanted to share more or be more open than I have this year. If I feel it I want to write it. If I think it, more than likely it will end up here. And I know that all my thoughts and feelings will be read by people who truly care about me. It's an awesome feeling knowing that you have people to count on when you are changing your life. I might not get to talk to all of them very often and they may be thousands of miles away but I know that they support me and my dreams and that is all that is needed.
My journey is just beginning and I am a long ways away from being where I want to be but thanks to those who have influenced my life up until this point I know I can do it. From the people online to the people at home from my family and friends, I know that I can do this because there is a lot of love and support headed my way. I will see my movie made at some point in the future. I will see several others dreams made in the process. I am not starting out to be at the top. I am going to hit the trenches, work my way up and one day in the future I will see my name on that screen where I want it to be and I will know that I did everything I could to make it happen.
Thank you all for everything that you have done for me. Most of you don't even know that you have helped or influenced me at all but you have. The fire and drive that is inside me right now was ignited because of my good friends and my wonderful family (related and extended). I will try my hardest not to let you down and I will not give up in the face of rejection. I am destined to do something with this life and I am just learning what path that is taking me on. I hope all of you will be along for the ride with me.
Happiness
How do you measure a life? Love? Happiness?
Everyone is different. Some measure their worth off of the stuff they own while others the amount of people they are surrounded by. Does the outside world make you happy or do you find your own happiness in side. When you die do you want people to look back at the things you accomplished, the things you owned or the kind of person you were?
I don't care if I never make another dime, if I'm never the most popular person. I want to be able to look back in a couple of years and see that I have done things that make me happy. Things that I am passionate about. Money or no money, recognition or no recognition, I want to do something that I believe in, that will be part of someone else's world in a positive way. I could live in a box on the street and play music for food and be happy if I could make someone's day just a little brighter with the songs I play. I could live in a cramped apartment, living on roman noodles and no furniture if I could make a film that changed someone's life.
I don't need tons of friends, I don't need tons of material things, I don't need tons of money. All I need is to be happy. To find that happiness inside myself in the projects that I do, the situations I put myself in and the decisions I make. I am well on my way to doing this and I have no idea how or when this is all going to happen for me but I know it will because I'm going to make it happen, and I'm willing to go without, do without, and be without to make it.
Reality TV
Today's idea of celebrity is really irritating to me. You can be a celebrity for doing absolutely nothing. Cases in point: Paris Hilton, The Real Housewives of (Insert Major City Name Here), and Jon and Kate plus 8 gang. I'm sorry but being a rich kid or allowing cameras to follow you around your so called "real" life are not attributes that make you a celebrity in my eyes. What do you really bring to the table? You have an interesting life story, who doesn't. You go out and party every night, who wouldn't want to do that. Why do we put these people in the same arena as people who have a craft, whether it be music, acting, being photogenic. They actually do something to make us want to watch them.
I'm tired of scripted "reality" TV shows. I'm tired of walking to the check out counters and seeing so called "celebrities" plaster the magazine covers. I watched the finally of The Hills on MTV and most of it was just painful to watch. These are not actors and they try to be. A TV show that I used to watch because I felt like it had a realness to it has completely abandoned that whole way of showing their lives. Who has a freaking crane available in reality?
I wish we could get back to making TV shows with stories and characters and things that take us out of our real everyday lives. Let's let the actors and the directors and producers go back to doing what they do best. There are so many wonderful ideas out there that we should be able to fill up every network and every time slot with something other than Survivor, American Idol, Fear Factor (even tho it's not on anymore). And if we do have to have reality TV can we go back to the way things were when reality TV started. Lets go back to the original, The Real World. Now that was reality TV at it's best and the most real you could ever get.
I Officially Have an Apartment!!!
It's as official as official can be. I signed my lease for my apartment tonight and I leave a week from Thursday for my 2 days journey to Wilmington. Day 1 will be driving from here to Atlanta then on day 2 we drive from Atlanta to Wilmington. It's all very exciting. I'm picking out furniture tomorrow to order and SOOO EXCITED! This will be the first time that I furnish a whole apartment on my own. It will be my way and what I want. YAY!
My stuff is pretty much packed and I have a pretty full week of activities with friends and family around here before my birthday on Saturday. Tomorrow is golf, Tuesday night is Brad Paisley/Sugarland concert for Wal-mart shareholders, Thursday is my last 2 softball games, Friday is birthday dinner, Saturday the big 2-4. After that it is get everything ready to hit the road days followed by being stuck in the car days and I'm officially there.
I'm off to empty out the last of my drawers and pack up some dishes. But I will keep you as updated on the whole process as I can.
Let the Farewell Tour Begin
I told myself I wouldn't blog when I was upset. That I wouldn't blog when I was emotional and things just spill out. But lately all I am is upset and emotional so it seems like I have no choice but to do it. I am moving in 2 weeks and the farewell tour to things in NWA officially kicked off tonight. I've been preparing myself for months for this but the feelings have never been more real. I received my copy of my lease to sign today, I got my car ready to drive to NC and I went to my last Friday night baseball game. Friday nights are the best nights at the ballpark. Fireworks, fun, baseball, friends. Who can beat that? I'm going to miss that and so many other things.
On top of moving, finding a job, enjoying time here, figuring out what the heck I'm going to do there, packing, storing, organizing, I have had to face the end of working at the TV station. This wouldn't be such a big deal if they weren't going through a huge transition bring up the station in Fort Smith and all the equipment that comes with it. It's cool to be able to learn how to block shots and set lights but I feel bad that I won't be there to help after it all gets done. I feel like I'm wasting everyones time by learning it and then leaving. I know I can't change this but I have a fear of letting people down and I feel like I am doing it in this instance.
I want to apologize in advance for any random outburst I may lay on people in the next couple weeks. I am a stressed out emotional wreck and will be until I get settled in my new apartment.
To Brighten Your Day
I know most of you who read this blog have been working very hard on various projects and because of this I wanted to post something to help brighten your day.
Now I know it is not the Holiday season but this one makes me laugh every time.
This next one is a classic that some might just need to be reminded of.
And finally...
I hope these helped make your day a little better.
Rediscovered Music
After playing a round of who knows what song at work I came across a lot of songs that I forgot about. I wanted to share some of them with you.
Curtains Only Hide the Scared.
Even the Wizard of Oz had to come out from behind the curtain and face the world. This being said I have decided to stop hiding, to put myself out there and to make my dreams come true. I'm going to shoot for the stars, ask for the moon, and hope that I am not disappointed in the end. I have been told by many people recently that you can't get what you want if you aren't willing to ask for it. I have lived my life scared to go after what I really want and I'm tired of it.
I will be making big changes in the next couple weeks and in honor of stepping out of my comfort zone already I might as well go all out and see what could possibly happen. I have never been more scared in my life. I get knots in my stomach just thinking about it all but good knots and good fear.
The garage sale is over and can be classified as a complete success. I sold way more than I thought I would and got to help out charity with the items I couldn't sell. I am using the money to assist in expenses I have accrued in my time here as well as a contribution to a worthy cause. It was stressful, long, and boring at points but I'm glad I put in the work to get it done and mostly that it is over with. Now onto my next big task of actually preparing to move.
I started packing today and have pretty much cleared all unnecessary items out of my room and am going to start work on the other areas later tonight and tomorrow. I want to have as much packed as possible by the end of the week because the next week will be busy and I just don't want to have that to worry about. It's bad enough that I haven't seen my lease yet and I'm supposed to have it signed by Sunday. Lots to do and time is quickly running out to get it done in.
I don't want to have to spend so much time working on my stuff here because there are other projects that I would rather be helping out with. But I know that my first responsibility right now is to my move and getting prepared for that as well as enjoying the last couple weeks that I have with my family and friends here.
After listing out all that I need to get done it is time to put on a pot of water, make myself a cup of tea and prepare for a long night. But first I have a couple e-mails to send out about my future. Here goes nothing.
Home Sweet Home
I have never appreciated the world around me until I have been faced with leaving it for what I can only assume would be for a semi permanent amount of time. I swear that the sky has never been bluer, the leaves on the trees have never been greener, and I'm discovering things I have never noticed before. I am going to miss NWA and everything it has to offer. I love my hometown and always will. I was born and Arkansan and will be until the day I die.
I have took my break from everything to focus on getting my life together and spending time with the ones I love here. I can tell you I have never felt as reenergized and ready to face everything as I do right now. I worked through my doubts, had a couple crazy emotional days, slept very little, worked pretty hard but it has been the best couple of days.
Wednesday I went to the afternoon baseball game with my mom and it was nice to have some quality time just me and her. I'm going to miss days like that. We talked, joked, people watched, complained, laughed, and got really sunburned because I have a thing against sunscreen. It was a great day to just relax and spend sometime with one of my best friends.
Thursday was my day with my dad. Granted we were stuck in my garage going through all of the stuff we were selling in the garage sale but it was fun. My dad is the quiet type but we talked and joked and got a lot of work done. I very rarely get to spend time with just my dad. In fact until recently when I started going to his work to help him out I think the last time we spent time just us was when he drove out with me to Florida 2 years ago.
I have also got to spend a little time with my sister. We may have had some rough times lately but I'm really going to miss her. It's going to be weird not coming home and catching up on life with her, playing softball with her, just general sister stuff. Her life is changing to and I know both of us will find our ways through these changes and be there for each other. Not to mention I'm going to owe her big time for taking care of my cat for a while until I can move him.
I'm going to miss home but I have so many precious memories to take with me when I'm gone. This new adventure and life will be fun and exciting but my heart will always have a piece of my heart at home.
I have also started creating a playlist on last.fm you should check it out tomorrow or the next day when I finally get it done.
Taking A Break From It All
I'm taking a break from everything for a couple of days. I need to focus on packing, garage sale stuff, spending time with the family, and enjoying my last couple weeks at home. I will catch up with everyone when I feel better about things in the next couple of days.
Before I go I wanted to share one more thing that I was reminded of today.
You May Hate Me For This But...
I loved tonight's One Tree Hill. I was shocked and confused and intrigued all at the same time. It didn't feel like a season finale. It felt more like a series finale which reminded me a lot of Season 4 when we left them in high school. No one knows what can possibly come next. We didn't know what would happen to these characters, what would they do during college, where would they be, who would they be with. We are left with the same burning questions. To top it all off we know that CMM and HB won't be coming back. So where did Lucas and Peyton go? I don't see this as a bad thing right now but as a new adventure with these characters. Nobody died, nothing truly bad happened so why would they be gone?
These and so many more questions burn my mind. It's worse than a cliffhanger season finale because the lack of cliffhangers give you nothing to look forward to. The possibilities are endless. I am more unnerved by this season finale than by Grey's Anatomy's season finale. (If you haven't watched it yet you might want to skip the next couple of lines) We know that Izzie and George's lives hang in the balance and that one or both or neither of them could die. (Ok you can read again) But even all of that doesn't get my mind racing more than this episode did. It might be the creative side of me, or the writer in me, or just my weirdness but I love stories like this. It's like what can they do with the characters now because it seems like their lives are perfect and happy.
Thank you Mark Schwan for not killing off Peyton. Thank you for giving us the happy ending with Lucas and Peyton that we have all been waiting 6 years to see (unless your a Brucas fan which I'm sorry but Lucas and Peyton were always meant to be together, it's time to face it). Thank you for 6 amazing seasons of one of the best ensemble casts on TV that I would rank up there with the cast of Friends. Thank you for taking a risk and bringing the show back next year and daring to take a established show and yet again throwing it in a different direction.
Thank you Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton for your 6 wonderful years of entertaining us through Lucas and Peyton. The work you did on the show was amazing and something none of the fans of the show will ever forget. Whatever life brings you personally and professionally you will always be able to look back at One Tree Hill and know that you have fans from the show who will support you through. Your time on this show was amazing and it will not be the same without you.
For all of you doubters out there who are writing off the show, saying you will not watch next year, that it should have ended here I challenge you. How can you call yourself a fan if you are so quick to abandon it? I have supported the show since the pilot episode. I have not always liked the direction it has gone in, or the way storylines played out but every time it aired (except for that one freakin year it was on The CW and I couldn't watch it) and so did you. Why should you turn your back on it now? We all had our doubts about jumping into the future. We all didn't know how the show would be the same after that and I would have to say we were all pleasantly surprised with what we saw. The show (in my personal opinion) got better. Now who's to say that this change in direction can't be the same. Don't count something out until you see what is coming. Nobody knows what next season will hold. So how can you say that it's dead, or crap, or anything else?
I personally will be tuning in premiere night, anxiously awaiting what has come out of the mind of Mark Schawan and the writing crew. Because lets face it, it's One Tree Hill it always has been and it always will be.
Fitting In
What do you do when you want to be part of a crowd but you don't want to fight to stand out?
Lately I have wanted to fit in, be part of the group, feel like I'm a part of something but at the same time I don't want to fight to stand out. I don't want to force myself to be seen. I don't want to have to try to fit in. I just want to fit in, to feel connected. So what do you do if you don't feel connected where you want to? What if you are kidding yourself by thinking that you are like them? What do you do then?
I am me. No more no less. I have lived my life the way I have, had the experiences that I have, and done it all the way I wanted to. They have made me the person that I am today. I don't regret this at all but do these experiences mean that I don't fit in where I want to belong. Can I be the person that I want to be?
I can't change who I am, and I refuse to change myself to fit in. I have seen to many people do this and you never truly do. You just pretend and lose yourself in the crowd. I am very proud of the person that I am, the decisions I have made and the places I am headed. I am moving in less than 4 weeks. I am starting a brand new adventure. I am doing something on my own. But the thoughts of what if I don't belong there, what if I don't fit into that world, what if I can't make it work keep running through my head. I have never done anything like this. I have never experienced anything like this and it scares me to death. But through all this fear and all this doubt I know that it will be ok because I know this is the right thing for me.
I have been the person who changed myself. I tried to fit in but the truth is that I am me. I'm a band geek, a sports nerd, a theater wanna be, a music junkie, a secret writer, a closet romantic, an outright bitch, a loner, a party girl, a TV/movie freak, and overall mystery. I am a human and I fit into so many different categories and groups that I can't really change myself to fit in. Because I fit everywhere. I have so many interests, so many dreams, so many loves.
I'm tired of trying to fit in, I'm just going to be and if you like it then you are going to get a wonderful friend (if I do say so myself) but if not then I hope you find someone who you do connect with because in the end we are nothing with out friends and support. I have had the pleasure of having some of the best friends in the entire world and I'm sure I will find many more along my journey but no matter what I will always be myself with them because I am Kim Christie.
Wanted to Share
I wanted to share this story that my news station did tonight after the Grey's Anatomy season finale. I am glad that we were able to use something to help save a life later on.
Random Trips Down Memory Lane
While packing up the contents of my room and preparing for the garage sale that I put off to next weekend I have been having random trips down memory lane. Random items or groups of items have brought back some wonderful/not so wonderful memories.
This all started right before I left for my trip to Wilmington. In a rush to find a printer cable at my parents house I came across an old coke bottle piggy bank that I had when I was younger (ok so it was my sisters and I stole it from her but whatever) full of notes from high school and junior high. Now I had to get them out and read them so I put them all in a ziplock bag and packed them in my carry on bag in hopes that I would read them on the plane. This goal did not happen and it wasn't until I had come back home and was trying to fall asleep one night that I was brave enough to open them.
You can tell a lot about who you were by the notes you received in the past. The ones that were particularly hard to read were from my ex-boyfriend. But I powered through and read them all and it actually brought some peace to the situation. I am not the same person I was then and neither is he. We probably wouldn't have made it this long had we stayed together but at the time I thought we would last forever. The notes did inspire a new story concept which was pretty cool. They also were embarrassing, childish and funny to read. I will be keeping them for my children to read one day and say look at what mom was like when she was your age.
Stuffed animals, cards, letters, ticket stubs, random trinkets. They are all little keys to our past. It is sometimes difficult for me to part with these items that meant enough to me at the time to keep them. In fact I was forced to clean out the boxes for the garage sale in preparation to move (luckily my parents have lots of my baby stuff stored away). The people who buy these things won't know the stories of how they got to me or the impact they made on me at the time or even now. But they will make new memories with new people and that's all that matters.
I have a strong desire to go to my parents house this weekend and pull out all the old baby photo albums and pour through them before I leave. I'm going to miss the people and the memories that random things remind me of around here but I am ready to make new memories in my new place.
Just call me a sheep because I'm following the crowd.
100 Random Things About Me
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have a scar on the top of my head from when a street sign fell on my head.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? right now movie posters, pictures and a bulletin board, in the next couple weeks nothing as I pack it all up.
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I'm told I occasionally snore and talk but I don't believe them as I have never heard myself do either.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? if you ever got a hold of my iPod you would find a little of everything and all in complete random mixes.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? not the exact time but it was after 10 pm because that is the time that my mother threatened to walk out of the hospital at if I wasn't born yet.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? to be done with the build up and moved already.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? playing 4 square like I did in elementary school and middle school. I kicked ass at 4 square.
8. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING YOUR NOSE PIERCED? No because I thought it would constantly feel like I had a booger in my nose and that is not a feeling I enjoy.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'9"
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? yes, one time when I was spending the night at a friends house they thought it would be funny to lock me in a closet, I had a full blown panic attack and they almost had to take me to the hospital.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? not as much as I used to, but I still turn on a light if it is available.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? person in real life, Lindsay, thing, OTH on Monday.
13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? not making my mark on the world.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? dark hair and green eyes.
15. WHAT DOES YOUR HAIR LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW? tangled ponytail, was straight earlier
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Both, especially lately
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Sausage
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Special K cereal bar in my purse.
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME? Blue.
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? cracker yes, fish fish no.
21. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOUR BEST FRIEND NAKED? Ummm not that my brain remembers
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?? Yes and have had for sometime now.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? No and that looks like it hurts.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Old Navy
25. WAS MIDDLE SCHOOL A BAD EXPERIENCE FOR YOU? awkward but good.
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Yes, 3 that are mine 2 dogs and a cat and 2 that are part mine 1 dog and 1 cat
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? see answer above
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? yes and I have before
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 32
31. HAS ANYONE EVER BROKEN A PROMISE THEY MADE TO YOU? Yes several major ones
32. WHO IS YOUR LAST TEXT MESSAGE FROM? Amber
33. FAVORITE PLACE? driving down the road, anywhere
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Yes
35. WHAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE WITH YOUR CELL PHONE? Sent drunkin text messages to an ex-boyfriend when he is married.
36. WHO HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOU? No one that I know of, but I never really checked.
37. FIRST JOB? Aquatic park concession stand. Got paid in cash and got to swim for free. AWESOME JOB!
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Can anyone honestly answer this question no? Did one less than a week ago.
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE? Yes but I don't think it has to be a romantic connection, plenty of my best friends have been my soulmates on many different levels.
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? catching up with friends that I have missed recently.
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? 2 knee surgeries and 1 mouth surgery.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? I don't react well to compliments so I don't really know.
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? All of my teenage years, I have very stubborn teeth to go with my stubborn personality. In the end they still moved back to where they were.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? considering it's in like 3 weeks I should have some ideas but I really just want to spend time with my family before I leave a week later.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES? 2 1 boy - Landon 1 girl - Emma
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not that I know of
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Egos
48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL? Spending time with my friends and Friday night football games.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Ummm I'm not sure because it depends on the day and the amount of damage to my hair.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? For the most part yes, except when I write in a hurry.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH? Quiche from Spring Street Grill.
52. ANY BAD HABITS? Too many to list.
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSOn? Only when I'm stressed and emotional
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would hope so.
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? To a point. I have been in FWB situations and they didn't turn out well.
56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Looks attract but personality lasts.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Angry driving with the radio blaring or the occasional punch of a wall or inanimate object.
58. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST BEST FRIEND? Allison
59. DO YOU LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS? Sadly yes.
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? My Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles action figures.
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? 100+ but I don't call half of them.
62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID? I didn't watch him as a kid but I was forced to watch while "babysitting" so yes.
63. Do you use sarcasm? All the freaking time.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed Potatoes
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Personality and compassion
66. WHO HAS THE SAME PHONE AS YOU? My sister, Sarah, Bartley, tons of other people.
67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER? flight.
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? OTH, Friends, Las Vegas, Reba oh wait just one can't pick.
69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES? I try to avoid them or having them in general.
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Half Baked Ben and Jerry's
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Yes but I almost cut off the top of my thumb when I was little.
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM? Yes my laptop and have had since I was like 14
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? Softball game (if it doesn't rain) BWW, setting up for my garage sale.
74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER? Near a beach somewhere.
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTION? If they really want to take the time to sure.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? TV (sadly the Disney Channel)
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Coca-Cola (aka Coke)
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Lindsay
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Arm muscles
80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? Spare time??? Watch movies or TV I guess because that's what I do before I sleep.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? I try not to hate.
82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR: Late spring/early summer
83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY? Sweettarts Chicks Bunnies and Ducks, an Easter requirement in my family.
84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND? Several, I have the bestest best friend too.
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Brown, and when I dye it lighter brown with a hint of red or blonde.
86. EYE COLOR? Brown
87. SHOE SIZE? 9
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? Taco Bueno
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? Abuelo's
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? LOVE IT!
91. WHO WERE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL? Faye, Allison, Cassie, Daniel x2, Drew, Tim, Tiffany.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Christmas
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? Guitar, Piano, Drums, Clarinet, Keyboard.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Umm I've never really picked a side. I just flow in between.
95. KISSES OR HUGS? Hugs
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Music on iTunes
98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A STAY-AT-HOME-MOM? I will struggle with having kids let alone being with them all the time.
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? No time to read but I started The Secret Life of Bees on the plane a couple weeks ago.
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE. MIA recently but working on getting it back.
